It's A New Year

Christmas come and go, and now 2007 came and went. IT;s january now where i'll be in my second sem, retaking my maths paper. I would say that i'm quite happy with my results. I got my first HD. pass 2 papers and failed one. I had been failing a lot of times in my life, and i guess my new resolution this year would be not to fail anymore. Failing is so so tiring. =]

Celebrated new year with my family. After dinner, me and him went our seperate ways. He join his friends and i join my friends. Before going out, i was down with flu and sorethroat. So i practically spend my whole day sleeping and sleeping until 4pm. Drag myself up and had porridge.

Since it's new year, i want to wish some things
1) not failing any subjects anymore
2) In sept i would be done with foundation and i hope ti find a course that i can really work on
3)we both still have each other.

=), happy new year!!!

I Got A HD, F-I-N-A-L-L-Y

Christmas turn out to be quit different as compared to last year. Last year, i would be at home, thinking why go out and get stuck in the jam? This year, me and my friends celebrated it in a whole different level. We went clubbing at Bamboo located at TTDI. It really is a new experience to me. The people there and the way they act around. It is as though girls ass and breasts are meant to be touch or grab. For the opposite sex it could only mean pleasure and highness, but what if your the girl with the ass and breasts?

Some people are just sick. They go around fucking infants or children just to entertain their sexual pleasure. If you have money, go pay and get yourself a prostitute and fuck her all you want. If you don't have the money, then jag yourseld off. If you don't have the money,shouldn't you bte thinking of how to earn some rather than thinking of sex and fucking?

People these days are unexpected. They can just do things that you can't figure out. They deserve to be castrated, then cut their balls of one by one and boil it infront of them.Our morality has been going down. Not only our sense of humor but also the politics in our country. I might even say that, the video clip thing, no one will be found guilty until god knows when. Our country sucks so bad, that even my sis don't wanna come home.

I'm just to frustrated knowing that i fail my maths AGAIN. In my entire life i have been failing maths. seesh, when i thought i will pass, i end up failing it. I will be rechecking it tomorrow and see how it goes. If i really fail it, then i'll let my parents know about it.
"daddy, i got a HD as i thought, and i fail maths unexpectedly." Ahh, his gonna kill me i guess.

A friend of mine is leaving down north. His continuing his studies in law in UITM. I wish him luck and all the best. I might or might not take law as my degree, however the result would be i still love law. And if i progress to another course, then maybe one day i would be ready for law. Till then, lets hope that i pass my foundation and my MATHS.

20/12/1988

He got me roses, like finally. And a musical box. And an ipod shuffle. It was awesome. Mummy scolded me saying "see,he save money and go teach swimming just to buy you this" She was trying to make me feel guilty. I felt it a little, but it really make me happy, so, it's fine i guess. He suprises me sometimes just so sudden and now i fee bad coz all i got for him is a wallet for his birthday. I shall work harder next time and get him a better pressie. At the mean time, we will both enjoy each other company. =]

Merry Christmas to everyone..Ho Ho Ho

Nineteen

Its great to see everyone back home,screaming here and there. When they left i was happy then after a while i got extremely bored to death. Now they are back i'm freakingly glad and happy. So i'm not complaining anymore. I am happy i can be with them, i am glad they are living with me and i'm so so lucky to have this family and be part of it too. =]

And it's my birthday today!

So i told daddy
"daddy,its my birthday, wish me quick"
he say"okay,happy birthday"
End of story!

Then i tell LL,
"oik,wish me.She say in a sad way, happy birthday jie"
Selambaa betul!!!

Later it's mummy turn
I say "mummy,my birthday,wish me"
She say"not your birthday yet, your born on dec 20 at 3 pm in the afternoon.Wish what birthday?"
I got stunned by that answer. So fine,its mummy attitude. The diva!
Doesn't matter, because my mum do look hot!

Jun seng was the first to message me, thenwei yao, kah mun and ling and others.
So i thought, "okay,my boyfriend will be the last"

SUDDENLY, he called and say "dear,would you open the door please?"
*I'm smiling right now!*
So, i went down and i see his car at my front gate smiling happily.
And lastly, he said "happy birthday dear!!!!!!!!!"
That was it. My 19th birthday,2007
And i'm the youngest! =]

Pamper me more, love me more and treat me better! =]

Where Do You Cross The Line?

Have been studying real hard for my finals and i think i did pretty well. It's my first time aiming for a HD in a certain subject. So i work extra harder and memorize the whole freaking notes hoping what i aim will come true. I never aim in my life becuse i don't want to be dissapointed. It hurts when i fail to achieve. It hurts even more to know that i can be that stupid to aim so high. And because i never aim in life ever before, it makes my life easier. I don't need to work extra hard in exams, and i don't really need to care.

I also never care about anything in life. I never really care bout me and him fighting, or my parents. I just follow what they say and whatever with it. I'm like yeah, whatever then that is it. I don't go and ask questions or disagree with them. Maybe i'm just too lazy to talk, so i rather just go along with whay they say. I think not caring is good,because then i don't need to feel sad, or angry or get piss with people. But, sometimes i think not caring is being too cruel. Its like i'm being to hard on. And if i were to brak up with him, i will cry, then i would be strong again to not show him how weak i am. i'll laugh and joke around, but it's just the outside i'm showing. Faking sometimes helps me in showing that i'm tough, i dont need anybody when i'm down and i can stand back on my own feet. Then, where do i cross the line of pretending and protecting myself?

I can say that i don't need love or friends. I just need to have myself and family. Yet, when my friends hurt me, i still feel a pinch in my heart. Should i kneel to my true feelings? Or should i be strong because i'm a girl?

I don't need your symphatize. You can keep it. Instead i will feel pity for you, because u can never protect yourself from getting hurt. You will keep on getting hurt and cry for all the pain u have.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not pretending. i'm being myself. But sometimes i don't like to show how weak i am. You can see me laughing and smiling, and you might think i'm fine. In actual fact, i'm crying slowly and painfully.

Shitty Presentation

So finally, today was my english presentation. I thought i will shake, and shiver and forget every thing i memorize, but instead i remember it all. Some say i did my presentation alright and calmly, but a friend say i was quite playful throughout the presentation. Overall, i did alright, from my point of view.
But the most annoying,irritating among all is this particular girl! She keep on commenting about other people presentation and telling this guy(which have saome problem with his nerves) to shut up because the guy was shouting(due to his nerve twitch). How cruel is that to tell someone wqhich might in fact don't want that to happen as well. Sometimes he can't control it and he just shout,so? What harm he ever did to you and his grandmother just pass away. Urgh,finelah..I'm piss with her but i won't go up to her and tell her.
With all the anger, i went to john and told him about this. Instead,Instead of agreeing with me, he comes and tell me "MAYBE SHE GOT PROBLEMS,MAYBE SHE FOUGHT WITH HER GUY OR SOMETHING". Instead of agreeing with me, he was on her side helping me. And whenever i comment about anything, he will say no....excuses. then no again...excuses. I expect him to agree with me for once, and say yeah,she ah..stupid woman one. Call her go fuck offlah.
I'm full of anger now and i don't know what else to do, than to blog about it.

The happier fact: this blog author which i read for quite some time finally gave birth to a healthy baby girl today. Congratulations to her and her husband. I'm just one out of a million that resad her blog, but it's nice sharing the happiness.

Just GIve Me Something

Won't you be happy when he/she send you a nice gift eventhough it's not your birthday or anniversary? It's just one normal day in a year. It hurts to know that when your friends received gifts unexpectedly and on the other hand, you have not received any special gift unexpectedly before. People compare always and you are one of it too when it comes to relationship. Why did he give her that? Why havn't i got anything from him?

I said, i don't really need gifts and all. Restate again, I said, i DON'T REALLY need gifts and all. I did not say NO DON'T GIVE ME ANY. I wonder how hard it is to buy something or you know,just a simple simple rose? Its pathetic!!!

Been given roses before?
Yes for me, but it is not from him,it's from a friend. This is serious outrageous...

For once, could you give me something unexpectedly? I'm sounding so desperate.Well yes i am. I"m in a relationship for almost 2 years now, why wouldn't I? Any girl would be pulling off their hair now and going through a real bad PMS.

A New Experience

I finally, F-I-N-A-L-L-Y get to go clubbing and stay out late at night. All my 19 years of life, finally. Went to this club called Bamboo at TTDI. A lil small but the experience it what counts the most. Learned to dance a lil step by step. Meeting them back and enjoying the night was one incredible memories. That particular night somehow gave me a hope in them. Maybe i don't need to just let it all go, maybe i can work this out and enjoy our friendship for as long as it is. =). There is always hope in life right? Guys asking for number reminds me of singlehood. I miss the singlehood life but i will miss relationship life even more as compared to single life. Guess i'm stuck to him for quite some time, and i'm not complaining.

I Crap, I Know

Wouldn't it be nice if i can take over my dad's business and be a bos before 30?
Wouldn't it be nice if i can successfully pass my law degree and call myself a lawyer finally?
And when i have the money i will then be able to buy myself all the bags i like and adore, the car i dream of and the my home sweet homey?
....... and its back to reality.
i fantasize things in life,and i do admit. Who doesn't actually? First you dream of it, then you take a step forward to make your dreams come true.Right? But i fantasize too much until all i can ever do is just close my eyes and dream. i'll go to sleep smiling,and wake up smiling for a few minutes. Then i'll start to ask myself "what exactly did i dream of?"
Dreams come and go,poof,just like that.But if i work for it,then it would be solid and hard. I dream to study overseas for a year and work there and earn money. With the money i can do things that i always wanted. All i'm doing is talking, writing and not do anything about it.And reality bites!

S-W-E-E-T

So how is it like right now?Am i in still in your dictionary?* years would be down the drain but i guess none of you would have cared right.I never exist in your eyes.So yeah,all the "i'll be there for you when you need someone to talk too" it's a bullshit man. This happen last time and this isn't the second time.Am i a easy target to be fooled,to be bullied,to be slammed around?To people that did those,of course u all like it.Your having fun don't ya?You can laugh you can joke.That is the reason why revenge is S-W-E-E-T!

Friends

So what happens when you realize that some friends of yours went out and meet when they know your not in town?
What will you do?
How would you feel?
Will you talk face to face and scold them?
Practically,you can't scold them because you know whent he open their mouth it would full of bull
So,how would you take it?
Pretend that you never see that pic,open one eye close one eye OR
Confront them?
What can you do when your friends just treat you as though you DON'T EVEN EXIST.
You can't talk to them and all,since they never change.
They never change!
When your giving so much out,care of none in return
But dislike when all you get in return is friends that don't fucking care about your existence.
These are just shits,friendships that can never be mend no matter how much you want to safe it
What happens to friends forever?What happens to all the promises?
Simple,they promise today,the next day forget all about it
Friends forever?What about friends with benefits?
Don't fucking treat friends like shit just because you think that they are not important to you.
Because one fine day when your in trouble,the first thing you do is call that so call friend you treated like shit for help.
And that friend will always help you,but that friend will also remember how you treated her/him
Don't give bullshits and all.You don't want that person to come and meet with you all,just say so.Don't lie and say busy and then go out with other people in the very same gang.
You wanna treat a friend that always been there for you,fine with it.
Your friend is just hoping that one day you can open ur your eyes and see things clearly.To see who is your true friend,who was there for you,and who was willing to give everything with tolerance but expect nothing in return.

I Got What I Wanted

Never sleep all night and instead me,sis and nelson went to a karaoke place.Sang all night long from 12 till 5am.Then its time for me to go back home and pack my last minute things.Check that everything is done,then the next destination is the airport.I guess i slept through out the journey not knowing that because i was just too damn tired.Reach the airport,check in luggage and paid rm150 extra because of excess weight.Finish up all including redemming the taxes.It is now time to sa goodbye to my sis which i wil not see until next year maybe,and to nelson which i might not see for a few years down the road,and to ah yi(auntie,nelson mummy) which i might never see again.Sayang goodbye was easy,because those was just words.But no words can express out how much i will miss my sis.All the laughter she brought to this family,all the things she done for me to safe my ass,and to all the silly things we did together.How things change when we grew up.Less fights,more communication! In comparison to previous years,we fight like mad.Pulling each other hairs and hitting,and end up getting canned.Oh,how it was last time.Those were the moments,and now,these moments i have with her shall never be forgotten because she is and will always be my dearest sis.The best of all,she is cool man. *winks* Better tase than me,better styles and better in every single thing and i love her to bits. *smiles* =]
No matter how much i will miss all of them,i gotta admit that i have been waiting to go back home to my loved ones in kl.The funniest thing is,i almost miss my flight because i read the gate wrongly from gate B to gate D.so imagine how far i walk and end up walking backwards.Thank godness i got there on time.Boarded the plane,slept through out also and reach kl around 1pm.Called him is the first thing i did.Then went and carry my super duper fucking heavy luggage.Bought ERL ticktes from klia to sentral.In between,played gameboy.A game that i played since young.This electronic accompany me when i was bored,sad and when i was waiting.
Reach sentral and i gave him a call.Saw him walking towards me now,heart beating a little,smiling so happily,and a hug so warm.A sign of affection i miss throughout the taiwan trip.Kisses were not to be miss. I love you too! Went to college to settle my things and it's all done.So tomorrow would be my first day in foundation.I feel weird holding pen.It's bee so long not touching my stationary.=] Came home,lie down on the bed.*hugs and kisses*
Taiwan trip was fine,but if you were there,things might be even perfect.Nonetheless,no regrets going to taiwan.=] Nights

Waiting Anxiously

It wasn't as fun as i thought it would be.Mainly due to some reasons.=] First day was alla bout boarding the flight,sitting for 4 hours and catching up movies i never watch yet.Reach taiwan at about 8pm.On phone right away but realize it says emergency call only.Nightmare for me because i need my phone to message people important to me like for example,the boyfriend.*smiles* but yeah,phone sucks,and connection was bad.So phones off until i get back to kl.Staying at yaiwan for 10 days which ui gotta admit that the trip is way to long. Had some fun shopping and only getting a pair of skirt and a cute towel for rm9 ONLY.Some things are cheap but some aren't.
Went to the beach today.Tried surfing a little,but the board i was using doesn't allowed me to sit on it.Waves was alright though,a few quite huge a few small.The huge one really came and whack me.Board flip,and i was in the sea already drinking a mouthful of salt water,ears blocked, and salt water entered my ears too.That was not so nice.And i remembered this joke about the sea and salt.It was about the wales.They say that wales ejaculates yones of sperm but only one enters the female wales.And the others?In the sea,swimming around i guess.So that's why the sea is so so salty.Naughty naughty wales,but hmm sex is normal right? =]

Can you see from the outside whether this couple had sex?

I'm dead curious about it because of this particular couple.=p Just wanna know,so if you know tell me about it. Went to this place called * i forgotten* A lot of shops sells animals.There is this shop,the woman was trying to make the female maltese stand so that the male maltese can hump her and breed.She was trying but the maltese kept on sitting back down.*good for her* I kept on looking at her.She was showing zero expression to what she was doing as though that it s correct.For me,that action is considered cruel and evil.She is just too cold blooded.Then Nelson told me that they see them as a product.Yeah dogs that you buy are for sale,but you don't need to force it to breed right? Dogs have lives to just like us.Treat them well woman!!! =/
When i reach taiwan,i ahd started to count the days left.I am still counting by the way.3 days more and i'm abck in kl,hugging john tightly.I miss you so so much.you know that?
Happy Merdeka Everyone..

Big 'D' Word

I thought that divorce cases could only happen in the uk or any international country.But i never thought that i would hear it here,or even among my family and relatives.Whenever anyone hear about the D word,they tend to get shock and ask why why and why.I'm not asking this questions maily because i know just a lil why this is happening.This is not what is going on in my family,but it is happening to someone close to me and close to my family.

Because of some issue the wife decided to leave the family and take her youngest child with her back home.She would be leaving behind her young teenagers with the husband. What happen? Some BITCH came to the husband and ask him out.And so they went.That BITCH acted as though that she don't have money to pay for her shopping clothes,so she ask the husband to pay for him.The husband was smart enough to realize that she just wants his money,so he left.The wife found out about the resit. Now she could not forgive him for what he have done to her.

This couple had been married for 20 and more years and to us and the neighbour they seem the perfect couple.Always laughing and smiling. This news shock my family and my mum and even me.They had been married for so long and imagine the love,memories and family built. Thanks to some BITCH,this family mightbe ruin and torn apart.For me,i think that maybe the wife should let the past go and forget about it because they have childrens in their life now.It is no longer about the both of them,but the entire family.But on the other hand,myself would not forgive him.The relationship had been so long and all the trust she had for him is gone and it now no any longer exist.If i'm her i would not forgive him for his actions and stupidness.

What would you do if your her and if ur him??

This week had been pretty hectic for me.First i got my results and it was bad as i had imagine.Second,squeeze brain to figure what else to study.Third,register and do everything done by friday,TOMORROW! Then saturday,i'm off to taiwan.I can't wait for the taiwan trip and i hope this course would be fine for me.=]

Anger Within

When you are too mad at someone,too frust with them,too pissed off with them and all of the feelings just get mixed up combining it into a state where your dissapointed. OkLAH that's a bit overreacting. But seriously when you fight to much with someone you love, you tend to get bored with all the quarrels and arguments. And when a fight starts, you just go lalalalala.* pretending you singing* =p

What's the worst? To fight with your partner because you still care for him/her? or to just let him/her yell and still pretend nothing is happening because your too bored with the arguments?

To anonymous,about the comment you left,it is truelah and sometimes not all questions have an answer to it...A lil bit of peeping won't be bad.*hah* =)

Invisibility

Ever dream of being invisible? And why?

What says you? =)

Let's Not Pretend

I have no doubt that i could love u forever
The only trouble is you don't really have the time
You got one night only one night only
That's all you have to spare
One night only,let's not pretend to care
One night only,one night only
Come on baby come on
One night only we only have till dawn
And in the morning this feeling would be gone
Have no chance
Something so right
Has got no chance to live
So lets forget about chances
It's one night only with me
One night only
One night only
You would be the only one
One night only
There is nothing to rush
One night only
One night only
It's hard to say goodbye
But i'm not sure
We didn't make forever
Now i'm standing here,looking for something to say
We've been together,so close to each other
It's hard to say goodbye,hard to open up
And not sure what your going for
We did not know we would end like this
You know i always love you
You know i'll always be there for you
It's hard
But don't be sad
Because the time we have together
Shall not be forgotten
Memories built
Would be remembered
Remember it all and thinking about it
You make me smile,
Baby,don't be sad but be happy
For the memories we had will always be kept in my heart
Just so you know
I'm never taking you away from my heart
The place you have in me would be kept for you
You and only you
So,please believe me
When i say that i could have love you
Be happy,and not sad
Because i'm happy with the path we've been through
No one will take this away from me
What about you?
Baby,tell me
For you it's over
For someone that like you without any reason?
For her
It would always be the same
Feelings unchanged
It stays like this
Forever

In Her Shoes

I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart.
I am nothing without you,
Anywhere i go,you will go with me.
I fear no fate because your my faith.
I have no world,when your not with me.
Here is the deepest secret no one knows,
The root of a root,
The bud of a bud,
The sky above the sky,
Of the tree palm life.
Its the wonder of life that keeps the stars apart

"Have You Ever"

"Have You Ever?"

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so badyou can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever , Have you ever

Have you ever been in love
In love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all your heart
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care

What do i gotta do to get you in myarms baby
What do i gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how i need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
Cuz baby I can't sleep

How Things Were Back Then

You have been there for me for as long as i could remember-Remember we would smile at each other whenever we enter the classroom?-The first time you came to minda ceria,you walk through the door and you stand infront of everyone.-You came in with another guy.-Nonetheless,my eyes were on you.-I dont know why,but maybe it's because you were from my then boyfriend school and you were his neighbour too-I saw you writing at the white board-And so,we fight for the board space-You smiled,i smiled-Things was so perfect back then.-And eventhough we never talk during the night ,we know that we miss each other-We flirt and talk and everytime we talk,eventually we will smile-When sir ask us to sit in groups,you know that the sit infront of me is available to you,but you never come.So,my then boyfriend took that place that was suppose to be urs and not his-How funny things is,because that sit was suppose to be my then boyfriend,but i always wanted you to take that place-Maybe we had a chemical reaction-The nicest thing of all was that you called me.And we talk or even try to talk eventhough my boyfriend insisted that i should stop talking to you-Yet,we talk.Remember at that time my boyfriend was so damn piss with you.-Still,we talk.-You and i know that there is something going on between us,but i had him and you just got heartbroken-January 2006,my stupid asshole boyfriend ask me a very very dumb question.To choose him or my freedom.It was so damn obvious that i would choose freedom.-After breaking up with him,we went out the next day-We had fun right,eating shakeys,taking each other drinks.-Baby,You know i love you only

We had loads of fun,but it seems to me all this days has been a long long time.-I never felt the same as how i feel last time-How eager i was to meet you,to see you as faded-And last time when you try to court me-You think of fun stuff to do with me,to make me laugh-It has been such a long long time baby

I dreamt about you the other day-The words you say came flowing back into my mind-I guess you have been waiting for me to say this,"baby,it's true that all this while you had done so many things for me and i so stupidly think that i'm the one that had been tolerating you"-I'm sorry because i forgot how things were back then with you-I'm sorry because i never know how you felt-Baby,Give me time and maybe things would change as how it is before-And to you,please remember how you treat me last time.-So tender so loving-Now,i only feel that way after we had great fun together-And when you came so close to me hugging me so tightly saying you love me over and over again,i feel close to your heart-I don't want that feel to come only when we'r having fun.I want it when we'r together doing nothing-Lastly,you know i love you!
--Kisses to you--

Mistress

When you walk down the aisle with your soon to be husband/wife,all you could ever think of was to be with him/her for the rest of your life.Vows are said and told by the preist.He ask do you take him/her as your lovely beloved husband/wife to have and to hold,till death do you apart?When you say I DO,you know you mean it deep down your heart.As time fly,you and your soul mate live together,stay together and have kids too.She got pregnant with your baby,gave birth to a new living soul.And eventhough she know that her body will gt out of shape,her hole would be loose,yet she agreed in having your baby.Then,years pass.She no longer have the looks like last time,she no longer owns a godness body.She gave it all up for you.And now,you repay her by having a mistress outside and as cruel as you could ever be,your mistress gave birth to your child,a baby boy.Your wife had been there for you all this while,and now your rich,you decided to have another woman outside.How cruel could you be?When you return,gates would be open widely for you.Its for you to decide to enter inside or to live outside.It is your choice,but you should know that she would be waiting for you with your baby girls.Do remember that they might leave this world,because no girl can face the fact that her very own husband has a mistress outside with a child.She might leave this world with your baby daughters.What are you gonna do when they leave you forever?