Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Prenuptial

In psychology class today, lecturer was talking about marriage and divorce. So then she talked about prenuptial agreements and mediation. Then this very very naive girl thinks that a prenup is a negative way of thinking because you can't see a marriage that will end one day and your preparing for it already. Then she say, why not just don't get married when you might see a divorce in the future. Then she say about trust and we should trust our partner. OMG!!!
I so feel like killing her in class because she is just so so so SO NAIVE AND DUMB AND STUPID AND THINKS THAT LOVE IS FOREVER. Seriously, nothing is forever, and even if you ask your partner they might just say nothing is forever or he/she can't promise forever. Try asking your partner this question

Would you love me forever?

Then he/she will most definately say "owh, of course i will darling/honey/sweetypie/dear/chu chu i will love you forever and we will grow old together ya"

Then you go "owh, i love you to etc etc etc"

But honestly, nothing is forever. I tell him that i love him and all, but to promise forever is hard.

I agree with prenup because it brings us a sense of security. Why not? When a marriage falls apart, and all you have now is tears, heart aches and nothing else. And your ex partner might become so damn cruel to you by asking you to leave their house and take nothing from them. Then what when that happen? Are you gonna say "owh what about forever?" you said you will love me forever? That person will say go to hell and buhbye then your out of the door. So isn't it good to have a prenup? At least before he/she cheats on you by sleeping with sluts or prostitute he/she will now think twice whether its a wise decision or not. GIRL POWER OKAY!!

When i almost want to yell at that girl with all her dumb reasons, Mun Yeu stopped me and say, she is still a teenager, so maybe she think that way and maybe she is not mature yet. =/

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maybe that girl was not too naive.Maybe, you could be, too cynical?

Marriages should not end in divorce, we all don't want that, yet, most do. But the fact remains that if any of us enter knowing that as a possibility, the marriage would most likely not work.
That is why that girl was so opposed to Prenups. It is because she believes that peple shold still enter into marriage, being prepared that it will be for life. For richer, for poorer, for better or for worse. Love is about giving and not receiving. So why the prenup?

Because you are afraid of being hurt, because you are not sure whether you can trust the one you love with your life.
Then, is it real love? Have you ever felt anything like true love?
When you do feel it, you will know that you would die for that person, even if that person might one day chew you and spit you out.

Marriage is about sacrifice. Prenups only promote the possibility of a way out.

Yes, we all like to be prepared. But in some things, it is better to just have faith.

Marriage is one of them.

I hope that you will read this with an open mind and heart, and try to understand that we must not ever become so cynical to the point of believing that love will never last forever. If you believe that it can, then it will. As long as you know that you can love a person forever, there will surely be somebody who will love you forever.

Till then, I only have to say that I am touched by your cynicism, ironic as it sounds. But give yourself a chance to believe in things. I know you can:)

Ling said...

Of course i'm afraid of getting hurt. who isn't? are you not afraid? it still is real love and i have feel true love but not from my partner. i feel true love from the way i love my ex-es and my current boyfriend. i was once hurt by my ex, yet i still believe in true love, real love and marriage.

However i learned to be smart and wiser, to not put both feet in and completely trust someone, after all i'm just protecting myself. And, i never give up on love because i'm still in a relationship.

And i am willing to sacrifice for the one i love, not only my partner but also my family and friends. For the one i love, i'm willing to give up my life anytime when he is in danger. But if his a guy that cheats and commit adultery, should i still die for him when in the end it might not mean anything to him?

Isn't that being stupid that i'm sacrificing myself for someone that don't care about me or my life?

I have faith, i have hope. But i'm merely protecting myself a little. Wouldn't you?

J said...

Although I agree with what Anonymous has said and that how marriage should be forever through tough and turbulent times, sometimes a prenup is useful, for example, if lets say a married couple decides to break up, the prenup can guarantee a right for each of them to keep the things that they brought into and earned during the marriage, wouldnt this serve as a better measure of justice than the usual 50/50 split?

And sometimes marriage cant be till we die, as what is the use of marriage if a married couple is unhappy with no love for each other, no feelings of love for each other. A relationship made out of obligation purely to the husband or wife would sooner or later turn into feelings of disdain and hate for the other.

When 2 people are in love, the love they have for each other makes them overlook each other's flaws, makes them tolerate each other. A relationship is about give and take not about always taking nor always giving as this would just lead to one abusing or taking advantage of the other. Without this love the couple would just stop worrying about each other's welfare, then start getting disappointed at one another then hate then possible divorce? an unhappy marriage is almost certainly always a bad marriage.

I am not trying to take sides here, just giving my point of view on what marriage should be. It should be a binding contract of love, commemorating and celebrating the love of two people, sometimes the couple may fight sometimes they may have disagreements, but isnt that what being in a relationship is about? Isnt a relationship about 2 people dealing with problems as a team helping each other comforting each other through times of need etc.

And yes ling maybe a bit cynical, but i can assure that its due to her experiences that have somewhat made he more wary and precarious if not always jumping to conclusion that a nice deed will always have a hidden agenda behind it.

Just my 2 cents on this subject =)