Doves Of Doves

Friends

2009-10-14T10:19:00.000-07:00

You have friends that treat you like a family
And you have friends that treat you like crap

They think that you are a small kid that knows nothing about it. Pathetic friends I have.

Untitled

2009-02-27T09:17:00.001-08:00

This was at Maju Junction Restaurant. Bought a cake for mum for her birthday and it was a suprise.

HE REMEMBERED to give me flowers.awwwwww

I made carbonara with a little bit of help. A very minimal small help.

The picnic basket,with plates,cups, fork and spoon(from IKEA), tea in the termos, bottle of water, and in the white bag is my medicine. Got sick as usual.

We had valentines day at a park nearby his house.After that, i went back home and sleep since i was sick.

Mei Ling's 21st Birthday Party

2009-02-27T09:02:00.001-08:00

She treated us dinner at Nero Vivo, Bukit Ceylon. Birthday girl is the one in maroon. Happy Birthday ah lingggg. And now it is only me and keng li. We went poppy also one night,and we had so much fun. Pictures is still with ling. I will have to wait for her to come home frm melbourne.

Retarded Two Face

2009-02-27T08:56:00.000-08:00

Why must i know so many arrogant,snobbish,retarded two face people? They just take everything from you and give you nothing. They practically suck the life out of you.

Lesson 1
If you want to be a friend, then be a real friend.

Yee's 21st Birthday Dinner

2009-02-08T08:45:00.000-08:00

Yee was the first to turn 21 in 2009.

Location: Sambal Sushi at puchong
Time: For us(me, mei ling, john, and keng li) 8pm
Hotel: Sheraton Subang
Alcoholic drinks: Jack Daniels and Black Label

Lai Yee got drunk and puked like mad in the toilet.
Keng Li was the first to puked
Mei Ling and Khai was the first to crash(cuddling and touching here and there*cough*)
Yu Liang was trying to keep his clothes on because Yee got so drunk she started stripping off his shirts
John puked at the end. He puked a lot!
The sober one was Mei Ling, Me, Khai and Yu Liang
Everyone vomitted black colour stuff out because of the coke.

Everyone crash at 4am and only Keng Li and Mei Ling went for breakfast. I slept like a pig with John. And we left at 10am.

V Day

2009-02-08T07:55:00.000-08:00

He remembered to get me roses on valentines day. =))) And we are going to an italian restaurant for dinner then pasar malam. Before that, shopping at gardens. Also adding another pair of stud. *smiles*

Love Just Come And Go

2009-01-11T06:46:00.000-08:00

I'm afraid that the relationship will end suddenly when the love is gone
I'm hoping that when there is a problem it can be resolved
I'm wishing that he hint or let me know when his feelings is slowly fading away, so i can do something about it
I don't want the relationship to end all of a sudden when i don't even know the reason to it
I am constantly trying to improve the relationship and
I hope he is too
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Me and him are fine. We are both perfectly fine, but i'm writing this because one of my foundation friend just broke things off with her boyfriend of 4 years.

I'm really sorry for what had happened to her and i hope she can make it through someday. It takes time to heal, believe me.

My ex was a jerk also, but time will heal everything. Ok babes?

I'm afraid of breaking up with my boyfriend of 3 years also. Hence, i always try to improve things between us to keep the sparkle on. Relationship is toughlah no matter how you see it.
Dont just hope for things to get well, instead move your ass and do something about it.

But i'm not a relationship expertlah, it is just one of my opinions. And it works well for me. =)

To this lady, you will get through this alright. I ask jarrod bring you out for booze okays?

Taiwan Trip

2008-12-25T08:48:00.000-08:00

Damn Bitch 1

2008-12-09T08:13:00.001-08:00

Before my eye infection, something bad happened to my mother. She was infected with viral fever and the symptons are like rashes, high fever and joint pains. On sunday, me,dad and sis was suppose to go for this wedding dinner in Klang. So we did, because mummy was feeling much better.

But once we are there, our maid, Lilia called saying "sir,come back fast!!" Daddy heard this phone call and rush to me asking for keys and i quickly gave him without asking. All he said was something happen to mummy. I obviously freaked out and called home. I called and ask what is going on? Lilia say" call sir come back quick" and she hang up just like that.

I was so scared and vulnerable because i'm in Klang. Of all places i was so damn far from home and mummy.

I know my dad will be speeding back, and i worried for his sake. I think and think and i remembered our neighbour Auntie Julie. I called her house and her son, Xian Hor picked up. I explain the situation to him and ask his mum to go to our house and fetch mummy to the hospital. Auntie Julie went right after she get the call from her son. I felt much better because she live very near us and she will be a great help when no one is around.

Next thing i called my dad to let him know Auntie Julie is there and make sure he don't drive so fast home. Then my uncle called my cousin. Ah Bor and her husband rushed from Cheras to our house to help out.

The situation at home....
Mummy fainted and she was barely conscious. Lilia and Cham keep on waking her up calling "mom..mom..mom, mom wake up"
Lilia was so scared and she ask Cham to rub oil on mummy to make her warm. While rubbing

Lilia kept on calling mum non stop until mummy wake up. Mummy did after awhile and start vomitting out. She vomitted a lot a lot and because of over vomitting her body was very very weak. And mummy told lilia her tummy and legs are very hard. Lilia quickly use a string and tie mummy tummy so that the air in her tummy won't go up her lungs.

Auntie Julie was there already and then cousin reach and decided to bring mummy to Pantai right away. Daddy met them there. So mummy was on IV to regain her strength back due to over vomitting.

At Klang dinner place...
I was nervous, going to cry real soon, at the nerve of breaking down. Then uncle told us wanna leave now? And i quickly say "yes,lets leave right now" Uncle drove to Pantai and i went and see mummy.

Doctor say its not dengue, but viral fever and she vomitted because she took some fruit. She was suppose to take a small amount of it, but she took one full glass which caused this problem. Then, daddy decided to admit mummy into the ward. And i went home, changed, pack mummy clothes, my stuff, some bread for her and off to hospital again. That night i stayed with her. I didn't sleep, didn't eat. I just stayed there looking at mummy. I tried to sleep of course but it was so hard.

At 7am, daddy came and i went to grab myself a coffee. Mummy was feeling much better and insisted that she discharge in the afternoon. She started making noise because she want to leave the hospital which was so annoying. But at least she is making noise right. So we left the hospital around 3 something.

Later in the evening, i got diarrhea and i started vommitting also. I think it was because of the lack of sleep and no food. But i was alright the next day.

The pissing off part was when my aunt didn't help any bit. She was watching movie downstairs and when Lilia called her she didn't reply. AFTER AWHILE, only she walk up and ask what happened which Lilia replied in an angry tone "when i call you why didn't come. Where you went?" All she did was stand there and she DID NOT EVEN CALL MY DAD!!! My youngest sis called my dad, I called neighbour and my uncle called my cousin. She called NO ONE!!!

I did not know about this until my maid told me after the incident. I told them my aunt is waiting for mummy to die. And after this, my aunt have the guts to tell my mum, " next time don't call neighbour". My aunt is worried of her reputation that she is willing to let my mummy life be at risk. THAT BITCH! THAT DAMN BITCH!!

One day when this happen to her, i will go shower for 30 minutes, take time wearing my attire and walk so damn slow. Then have a nice dinner and then only i send her to the hospital. Maybe after so long, she might be dead, so i'll just send her to the cemetery and throw her body there to rott!! Seriously, i am so damn pissed off at her right now. She will PAY!!!

Eye Ulser Infection

2008-12-09T07:22:00.000-08:00

Yeah, that was what i got. How it happen? Well, the day before(tuesday) i ter-slept with it. But it was alright when i woke up. Usual lah, go home and snore like a pig.

The next day, i couldn't open my eye and when i did, i couldn't really see anything. So i was partially blind one eye and another eye so damn pretty. yeah..

And wednesday which is the day i couldn't see, i was suppose to go and sign my work contract with the lady, but i couldn't since my eye is all red and ugly. I gave her a called and told her that i'm sorry because i couldn't make it. Bloody hell, i couldn't even see, how to drive? We scheduled to meet on friday.

That was done, and next i called my mummy and told her "mummy, my eye is all red and i cannot see right now, so we need to go see a doctor quickly" She said "HAHHHHH, okay okay, i find a doctor at pantai now"

Mummy work her thing and called the gynae nurse. mummy say" eh, my daughter cannot see now, how? Any doctor for suggestion since now so late already(happened around 3pm)? gynae nurse suggested Dato Dr Ramani.

So mummy drove home and whisk me off to Pantai Bangsar. Registered and waited for my turn. Doctor saw my eye and say, "girl, you got ulser in your eye which is because of contact lens"
Then she ask, "did you sleep with it?" And with a very sad face i said "yes"
So then she say, "see the black dot in youe eye ball there. That is the ulser. And you are lucky enough to come in early once you got this infection. Because if you didn't you will be blind in 24 hours" She continue saying " how did you wash your contact lens?"

I told her "first i take it off, and wash it with the cleanser thingy, then i put it in the container and dip it with another cleanser" She was quite satisfied with the steps. But she reminded me to not
a. sleep with it
b. wear it for such a long time. Maximum would be 7 hours
c. dry the container when i wear the lens in the morning

So oklah, NEXT she say, "okay now we have to inject your eye"

I was "huh? What did you say doctor? Did you just say you want to put a long needle into my eye?"

She said, "Yes dear, i will have to give you a jab in your EYE BALL. Its for antibiotic sake."

CRAPP, NOW I'M IN DEEP SHIT!!!!

Then, i lay down on the seat and the nurse gave me local anesthetic(just like putting on eye drops). And i waited for the doctor to come.

I saw her walking towards me with a very VERY long needle. She said "Open your eye girl" So i open my eye and saw her hands coming real close to me. She was using her left fingers to open my eye and the right finger getting ready to inject.

She inject and start pushing the medicine into my eye. And guess what? I felt it. I felt the entire process of jabbing my eye ball. The feeling was like erm, before you extract your teeth, your suppose to get a jab, and when the dentist start to push the anesthetic in, you feel it stingy. It was exactly the same feeling when she jab me in the eye ball.

And it was done after a few second. Honestly, she have very good hands and i suggest her to everyone wearing contacts. You might get it in the future okayy.

And i went home with strict instructions to put eye drops every 2 hours. Doctor also told me that if i don't heal tomorrow, i will have to be admitted into hospital right away and be treated with serious medication and higher dosage.

Next day, I woke up and shit, my eye is still so bloody red and the ulser is still there. So i start packing because i know i have to admitted into hospital. I went to see the doctor again, and she gave me good news.

She said" the lupus(or something like that) isn't there anymore. So now when you see the ligh your eyes won't feel that uncomfortable" So, okay good progress. I'm quite happy with it since its not that serious anymore.

This ulser infection is actually a very serious infection in the eye because you may lose your sight. So those that have not get this yet, i suggest be very hygiene with your contacts. This infection is a pain in the butthole(worse than ass). And you are not permitted to wear contacts for a month. Also, the redness in the eye will be gone in about 3 to 4 weeks. The ulser scar will heal in 3 months time. See how serious this is!!

I was quite alright with this, but the worse scenario was to say no to the job. And this job is something that i have been looking forward too. Its a job as an usherer and the pay is freaking awesome. I need to work for 10 days and i will be paid RM1800! And its an event job which is what i want to experience on. I was very happy when i got pass the selection stage, unfortunately, i am unable to work because of my eye.

So i told Jay C with a very sad tone and let her know that i am really sorry. I was thinking to meet her and apologize face to face. Should I?

My eye is still in progress, and it have been 2 weeks and the redness is still there. And i have been wearing my spectacles which i think i look damn nerdy in. But, but some friends told me i look SMART and SEXY in it. =))) Owh well, i am smart and sexy, and even glasses can't shut my sexiness out. =p Shit, you guys are gonna puke soon right?

The happy things, my birthday is coming up, i'm also getting a new phone soon. Should be the Nokia E66 one. And i'm going to taiwan this week. Can't wait for presents from him and FRIENDS. *Ehem*

Owh yah, my eye specialist is Dato Ramani, located at the Pantai Bangsar old wing. She will be in from 3pm onwards because in the morning she will be in Tun Hussein Onn. She charge you rm60 per visit. But she is very good. Afterall she did jab my eye ball with a huge needle stick ya.

A Journey Through Time

2008-11-11T10:55:00.000-08:00

Recently, i went for an interview at Starhill. If selected, i would be an usherer for an event titled "A Journey Through Time 11" hosted by Francis Yeoh himself. It is a huge event which will last for 11 days. This event is basically an exhibition about world finest jewellery and watches,some one of a kind too. So i went for the interview, put my best foot forward and some confidence. I lack in experience as compare to other people because i never really work before except for celcom job. But i make sure that i let the interviewer know i'm here to work hard and gain experience. After two days from the interview, which is today, I got a call from the agent saying i got the job. I was happy, excited and nervous. Unfortunately, my friend was not selected with reasons i do not know. I can't wait for the day to come and i'm sure this event will give me a lot of experience that some people won't be able to get. So do come and visit, its at StarHill Dec 4 to 14. I'll be flying off to taiwan on the 14th so i'll be missing the closing ceremony. Sigh..
The link is here http://www.raleighinternational.org.my/06A.php

And i just did a very funny thing, i googled his name and i saw raleigh international kuala lumpur. Its a journey he went for after he finish his SPM. This erm, aiyoh i don't know what to call the event. This raleigh thingy was a period of 3 months at Sabah without line connection. You are basically cut off from the world and its only you and your racksack and other people.

I remember clearly what happen when he told me he will be leaving kl for 3 months. First, i cried and ask him not to go. But, he did not listen because he paid for it already and he have to go. Second, we just got together not too long and he have to leave already, which suck core. Third, i waited for his call until 4am without sleeping. I tried making him not to go because i know i'm not the long distance person and i will end things with him eventually, but yet this strong headed guy choose to go ahead with it. In the end, i broke things off with him when his there because i couldn't take it and we started off bad. He came back after 2 1/2 months there, and he got dengue. This tall guy was so scared off needle that he choose not to enter a hospital and instead he drank a lot of water to cleanse his body. Silly boy!!

Of course we got back!!! We are still together until today this very moment and very much in love. =))) Sure, i ended things a few times, but we got back together again after a few minutes. One night, after i ended things, my sis told me he is quite a great guy and i won't find another guy like him anymore and am i really sure that i want to end things with him. So i thought about it and imagine him holding another girl hand. Damn that feeling wasn't nice. I feel so sad and down that i come to realize i will always always want him back. He already is "the one" without me knowing it until that particular night.From that night, i promise him that will never say break up anymore. It took me long to realize his the one for me, the one i want to spend all my life with. But its not too late to realize it and appreciate this relationship even more. And i'm appreciating this relationship even more than ever. It took me long, but i'm already at the final end. I love You darling =*)

From An Outsider Point Of View

2008-11-11T10:49:00.000-08:00

There isn't any point being angry or sad anymore as things have come to an end. And i guess it is good for her since there isn't much hope left. I tried to not think about this, but i guess its easier said then done. Now i finally understand why are there so many organization founded outside to help other people. It is because the people know what victims are going through and it hurt them as well even though they are not part of it. I now hope that i can join the organization and help other people in need. For him and her, this chapter has ended. And thus, a new beginning.

3 Ways In Making Your Boyfriend Happy

2008-10-31T09:32:00.001-07:00

He told me to not cause any trouble to other people when it is none of my business. Owh well, i shall drop my mighty plan. Not that angry anymore. But still a little bit =/

Owhh, i found out a new way in making Him happy when i make him sad or angry.
1st Jump on him
2nd pour kisses on him
3rd his happy alright =)))

Cheap and affordable *smiles*

Stab Stab Stab Stab

2008-10-29T09:06:00.000-07:00

Damn Damn Damn Damn cibai. Urgh! I just saw some pics and some comments from him/her to another person. Seriously i feel so damn angry right now i wanna take my kitchen knife and chop him/her into pieces. Tak tau malu punya lelaki/perempuan. Don't you feel guilty about all the flirting going on around so OPENLY when you know your partner might read it? Bah, i don't think you will ever care since your eyes is at your big ugly butt.

BAHHHHHHHHH, how to sleep when i'm so damn angry. =/

Open Your Eyes Girl

2008-10-26T11:12:00.001-07:00

Today is the story about bf and his friend. Guy name will be L and girlfriend name will be M.

Bitching starts now ya..

L is a flirtatious guy with ok ok looks only. And when he likes a girl he will tell his gf M. Weird? The weird thing is, his gf don't do anything about it. She don't slap, throw temper or anything at L. WEIRD! And he sometimes flirt like hell with other girls and once said to another girl that he will dump his gf and wait for her. Gf reads the message and guess what? SHE IS STILL WITH HIM!!

Sigh, i don't know why she is doing this to herself when her bf is obviously a jerk and a dumb ass. What is the point being with him when obviously his ready to dump her for another girl??

If you say love, then fuck love! Some says love is blind. But honestly, love isn't blind. Can love blind you from reality? Can love blind you from sorrow and heartache your feeling? HECK NO!The fact that he will dump you for a girl whom he know not too long ago, have already proven that his a guy not worth being with anymore. His not worth your love, your heart and your tears.

If you think that by being there for him, he wil one day realize his mistake and come say sorry to you, then your so damn blind and wrong. Mistake happens and we can never change it. But from what i know, he is still doing it. He is still flirting when your not around. I don't know what is going on in your mind, but as an outsider, i cannot wait to punch him in his ugly face!

Seriously seriously seriously

If love is blind, then i would have had sex with my first bf at the age of 16 and may be pregnant by now.

The feeling of love might blind you, but your eyes are definitely not blind. As i recalled, your studying for your degree right now. Sigh, how i wish i know you, but i don't.

I say dump L, kick him at his balls A FEW TIMES, and tell him his worth nothing to you. If you want to cry, hold it back and cry when nobody sees you. Or cry infront of his classmates which is also your friends. Get back at him and get even!

Quanttro Club Part 3

2008-10-21T11:23:00.000-07:00

Club Quanttro was the first ever clubbing event that me and John went. Yeah yeah, we've been together for 2 years 6 months and we never club together. Yada..yada..yada. What to do, i got curfew and he dont dance,drink or smoke. We'r a goody type of couple. Hahs! So yeah, the event was on a friday i think. I have a very bad memory =/

Basically, this new club is located at Avenue K (which is damn kosong) right opposite KLCC, and the difference between this club and any other club is only one thing. This club have 4 different section in it which represents 4 different season. They have the winter, autumn, spring and summer. Everything is just so erm normal and there is no dance floor. Sad case!

Few pictures up!!!! Pictures not taken by me because people that know me should know me well enough that i am not a camwhore type of girl. Yeaps! So the camwhore of that night was... tada... John a.k.a The BF.. I think his becoming gay. wtf!

Question!!! What would you feel when your partner dump you for another person?

Obviously betrayed right. But the twist here is, Your partner would be dumping you because he/she turn gay/lesbian.

Get it??

Basically, his dumping you for another guy / and she's dumping you for another girl?
Get it?? I'm sure you do. =)

Quanttro Club Part 2

2008-10-21T11:09:00.001-07:00

Quanttro Club Part 1

2008-10-21T10:59:00.000-07:00

Adulterous Bitch

2008-10-13T05:07:00.000-07:00

Because my degree will only start next year, i'm basically very very free right now. I do nothing except shit, eat, sleep, and play PSP. Owh, anyone with PSP go download this game "brave story". It's very nice and its RPG game ya. Pictures above was taken at Yuen steamboat at sunway. Honestly, the food is normal. So don't go act so stupid and line up outside just to try it.

Read the paper today and this article in StarTwo caught my attention. It's about adultery and why men or women cheat and tips on whether your men is cheating. The writer wrote about this person Beijinger Wang Fei. This men had an affair with a 23 year old women, and his wife, Jiang Nan found out. His wife then jump on the 24th floor. This incident was so hot in the internet that caused Wang Fei and his bitch sacked from their job an even hunted down for revenge.
"A blood debt must be repaid with blood"

Link to it, http://zonaeuropa.com/20080120_1.htm

Cool Mrs Choo

2008-10-08T11:38:00.000-07:00

Miss Choo got into a car accident today. She was fetching her lil sis to school and stupid tree branch blocked the road. All cars started reversing so did she. When she reverse, she check the back mirror and changed gear to R. Then some hon later BABP! She checked the mirror and saw a big four wheel drive and a woman saying "stupid one ah".

She let the woman go first and both of them stopped at a place.
Woman walk down to check her car then say "next time see carefully mah".
She say "sorry auntie, is your car alright?".
Auntie say" nothing happen to the car, just becareful next time"

Then auntie drove off, and Miss Choo continue driving. She went home and told parents.

Mummy ask "what car you drive?"
She say "pajeroloh"
Mummy then replied "pajero ah,then nevermindlah"
Miss Choo said "owh ok" and went back to sleep like a pig until 3pm.

How cunted is that? =p

p/s : nothing happen to both car. No scratches at all. =)

Rain

2008-09-30T10:53:00.000-07:00

I like rain
I like it because it cleans up the place
It washes dirty things away
It clears people mind
And raining makes me calm
It's soothing. To me i guess.

20th Birthday Baby

2008-09-20T12:37:00.000-07:00

What have i been up to lately?

Damn!

Owh yeah, GOOD NEWS, I PASS ALL MY SUBJECTS AND I CAN NOW ENTER DEGREE!

Finally i am free from HELP. Owh, good bless. amen.

I no longer need to walk down the stupid long hallway, no longer need to tahan some lecturer muka, no longer need to find for bloody parking, no longer need to be in foundation anymore.

So,then after knowing that i pass all my subject, shit! I don't know what to study for degree.
Then,headache as usual lah thinking of what to study. If take law, it will be tough and i might fail. I better not take. Next is mass comm. I so wanna take mass comm but when i went and enquire about it, the cert would be under HELP. Damn stupid right. Buhbye to mass comm. Now i can die.

What am i going to study? This cannot that cannot. Yahlah, i got a lot of excuses one. Since i don't know what to study, daddy suggested that i take business. Oklah, business quite alright.
Business degree then. Another shit!

Which uni should i enter? I don't wanna enter HELP anymore because i am so bored with it. And i need to take the bus to class everyday. Bloody Hell!! Next option is taylors, sunway, and monash. Taylors accepted, but i hate the environmentlah. Parking hard to find, so cacated building and lala-ish people. Taylors is out.

Then its Sunway. Sunway look fine, got own parking and people there like study type. One choice.Last is Monash which i bloody like so much. The campus is new, own parking and everything look so nice. Yes, i look at the outer phrase first. But hor, i don't have enough credit to enter. Then the councellor advise me to ask HELP for my marks. My exact marks might help me enter. Oklah, quite true also what she say. Then i desperately ask HELP to give me my markslah.

Bloody stupid ass HELP say, "owh its a policy to not reveal marks to students". Uncle auntie, i pay okay for my education. And i study okay for my scores. Then they come and tell me this shit. FUCKERS. Since they don't let, then sis suggested that i bring daddy there. Before, i bring daddy there, i told him " daddy go there must scold them okay".

We went to HELP and straight away daddy say " you will work this out for my daughter. don't take her and turn and turn her around. release her marks and work it out for her" And the HMC(my department) staff only said "yes sir,i will work it out". SO funny =)))) Proud of Choo daddy.
So then everything settle, i can contact Monash to see whether i reach the requirement.

But Nottingham Unis intake will be soon. So, sis say try notts. I didn't wait for monash because notts intake is very soon. And i knew it myself that i might not get to enter. So monash is out. Next day, went to notts to enquire more. Freaking farlah. And if drive like that everyday, my petrol will be super expensive.notts is also out because its too far, accomodation full, and low chances of going uk.

Last choice is sunway. And i am in sunway now. As in sunway unilah. Registered yesterday and waiting for my intake which is feb 2009. Now i am very free, and so i turn to mei ling and lai yee and keng li. I am a lonely person right now.=(((((

Owh yeah, today is john's birthday. Because of lack of sleep, and i was down with flu, we didn't celebrate much. But we spend the day together playing PSP. =) Then at night we went yum cha with friends. Happy birthday darling!! *loves*

Letter to A Friend, If We Still Are Friends

2008-08-06T09:44:00.000-07:00

Sis is back from uk with her friend which she hate so much just because he likes her. Hmm, sis is so weird maybe its because she got low hormones which result in her being fatty bom bom. =p The sad thing is i'm having exams now and tomorrow will be my last paper, which i stress a lot about : law! After my exams i would have to think of what to study for degree. Time passes so quick. Many things happen lately..

I read my friend blog today and i think we'r no longer friends because she has decided to not be with us anymore. She wrote about her financial, friendship, and health problem. I have known her since primary school and the sad thing about it is, i don't think she ever treated me as her friend before. The betrayel which i still remember until now and the promise i make, that one day i will betray her back as how she did to me. But i never did. I have the thought but never the intention or act to do so,mainly because she is stil my friend. I have treated her as my friend for many many years now, and i hope we'r stil friends.

She's quite unlucky in relationship problem and financial and health wise. My advice would be to not hurry in relationship because if your meant to be with him, your meant to be. No one can tear you apart. Financial wise, you said its settle so no worries in that. But club less frequent would help you save money because clubbing is a waste of money. We'r paying them way too much just to have fun in that few hours. We can create the atmosphere when you have a bunch of friends with you, booze around and loud music. Isn't that enough? About your health, i think its fine because you seem fine. But of course, its because you seem fine. Maybe the truth is your hurt from it and as a friend i'm here. But should i still be here for you?

We might have done some wrong doings here and there, but you gotta admit that you did too which you might not know because sometimes other people see you clearly more than yourself. A friendship for many many years might survive this if there is an open heart is all of us.

That was one of it, and another thing is something that i can never runaway from, relationship. I have come to a point which i don't intend to care anymore about him. Yet i still care because if i wasn't i wouldn't be in this relationship anymore. I still care deeply and i still do love him. But some things are push to the edges and i'm about to fall. I want to fall so i can getaway from this misery, but i'm not willing to lose all the memories, holding hands, kisses and love we share. If i end things with him, i'll be going alone to nirvana, borders, and cinemas. And what about his family? I spend time knowing them and it will all be put to waste when thing end between us. Some say that relationship is between the both of us, but other things are taken into account also when your with this person for 2 years.

I don't want to avoid, but i'm just not ready to face it. When i'm ready to face it, it is the moment when i'm ready to start a new chapter in life. I want to be single and have fun with singlehood! And maybe, adopt a baby. NOLAR, i like kids, but to have one is painful and irritating.

Going back to sis, when she's back mummy become more happy, i get lamer and everyone gets happier. Maybe she have the fatty luck in her =) Whenever she's back, she reminds me of our childhood life and all the chaos we bring to the family. We always fight and yell and i'm always being so rebellious to the family. There is a lot of fights going on. And i always always fight with my mummy, but we never fight anymore. I never yell at her, or bang the door to show my anger. I just basically stop fighting with her. I might still not listen to her at times, but we never really fight anymore. Its peace and harmony at home unless that bitch aunt of mine decides to do some crappy shit to the house. I swear to god, i will kick her out of the house when she gets old. muahahahaa.

The truth is i'm suppose to study law and i'm actually halfway to it. I'm drinking tea and eating biscuits and i want to shit but too damn lazy as usual to go to the toilet. =p Back to my book then.

Wedding

2008-07-02T09:51:00.000-07:00

Prenuptial

2008-07-01T08:54:00.000-07:00

In psychology class today, lecturer was talking about marriage and divorce. So then she talked about prenuptial agreements and mediation. Then this very very naive girl thinks that a prenup is a negative way of thinking because you can't see a marriage that will end one day and your preparing for it already. Then she say, why not just don't get married when you might see a divorce in the future. Then she say about trust and we should trust our partner. OMG!!!
I so feel like killing her in class because she is just so so so SO NAIVE AND DUMB AND STUPID AND THINKS THAT LOVE IS FOREVER. Seriously, nothing is forever, and even if you ask your partner they might just say nothing is forever or he/she can't promise forever. Try asking your partner this question

Would you love me forever?

Then he/she will most definately say "owh, of course i will darling/honey/sweetypie/dear/chu chu i will love you forever and we will grow old together ya"

Then you go "owh, i love you to etc etc etc"

But honestly, nothing is forever. I tell him that i love him and all, but to promise forever is hard.

I agree with prenup because it brings us a sense of security. Why not? When a marriage falls apart, and all you have now is tears, heart aches and nothing else. And your ex partner might become so damn cruel to you by asking you to leave their house and take nothing from them. Then what when that happen? Are you gonna say "owh what about forever?" you said you will love me forever? That person will say go to hell and buhbye then your out of the door. So isn't it good to have a prenup? At least before he/she cheats on you by sleeping with sluts or prostitute he/she will now think twice whether its a wise decision or not. GIRL POWER OKAY!!

When i almost want to yell at that girl with all her dumb reasons, Mun Yeu stopped me and say, she is still a teenager, so maybe she think that way and maybe she is not mature yet. =/

One Good Friend, A Survivor!

2008-06-24T10:01:00.000-07:00

Jarrod Ng
20 years old
He is available and up for grabs
6 feet and more
Wants a tall girl(not like me)
Fluffy and nice to cuddle
Bid starts now!

Compliments to unforseenable.blogspot.com

Jarrod Ng, 17, and mum, Mrs Pearl Ng, fought to save the teen's leg.

That was one possibility Jarrod Ng, 17, faced.

The young man was suffering from bone cancer.But thanks to doctors here, his leg was spared.

Jarrod still has the use of his leg.But he is one of the many young people worldwide who are suffering from cancer.

Every year, 250,000 children are diagnosed with cancer worldwide.And many of them do not have access to proper treatment.To raise awareness of childhood cancers, today has been designated International Childhood Cancer Day (ICCD). (See report on facing page.)

When the diagnosis was handed to Jarrod and his family, after a five-month battle with a pressing pain in his left knee, they were devastated.

Their tall, handsome boy was so healthy.He was into playing basketball and enjoying life like any other teenager.

The nagging pain that would not go away last year had taken them on a round of doctor visits.

TUMOURJarrod said in an interview with The New Paper:

'I had an MRI done to see what was wrong with my leg and it showed up a huge tumour just below my knee.'The tumour was about 14cm in length and 8cm in width. It was also about 8cm deep.

The reason it was not noticeable earlier was because Jarrod was tall and heavy.He stood at 1.93m and weighed 133kg.

But by the time the Malaysian boy came to Singapore to consult doctors here, the swelling caused by the tumour was visible.

Mrs Pearl Ng, Jarrod's mother, said: 'We had heard that there was a very good doctor here who operates on such cases and we wanted Jarrod to have the best care.'

She was referring to senior consultant Emeritus Professor Robert Pho at the National University Hospital (NUH).He pioneered limb salvage surgery for cancer patients.

The family has spent RM500,000 ($218,000) so far on Jarrod's treatment here.

They have depleted their savings and have also borrowed from family and friends.

Mrs Ng, a housewife, said: 'I was afraid that Jarrod might lose his leg.'

AMPUTATION

Amputation of the leg in order to remove the tumour was one of the three scenarios doctors painted for the family.

The other scenario: His upper and lower leg bones would be held together with screws until the bones fused to form a straight line.

Then he would not be able to bend his leg at all.

The last scenario was one Mrs Ng prayed hard for - that surgeons could remove all the tumour and fit Jarrod with a prosthesis (artificial device used to replace missing body parts), which would allow him to walk again.

On 12 Aug last year, after some initial chemotherapy sessions to shrink the tumour, he underwent an 11-hour operation led by Prof Pho.

The surgeon managed to remove the rest of the tumour from the bone.Prof Pho also removed the lower part of the left femur (thigh bone), the entire knee and a bit of the tibia (the larger of two bones in the leg below the knee).

With the prosthesis, Jarrod will be able to walk again but he won't be able to play basketball anymore.

Dr Koh Pei Lin, a registrar at NUH, is now looking after Jarrod when he comes here for follow-up treatment.

After the surgery, Jarrod returned to Kuala Lumpur for chemotherapy.

So far, he has undergone 21 courses and will need two more to complete his treatment.He and his mother were in Singapore last week for a check-up.

GOOD PROGNOSISSo far, his prognosis is quite good as the cancer has not spread.Dr Koh said: 'I would say he has a 70 per cent chance of remaining cancer-free for the next five years. And after five years, the chance of relapse is less.'

Finally, Mrs Ng and Jarrod say, they can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Mrs Ng added:

'It's been very, very rough. He felt very sick from the chemotherapy, nauseous and suffered from ulcers in his mouth.'

During the first month of chemotherapy, Jarrod tried to sleep most of the time and ate very little.

He said: 'Nothing tasted good. I lost over 30kg. Now I weigh 101kg.'

His mother added: 'At the lowest point, he told me that if I would give him a knife, he would kill himself.'

Mrs Ng is now worried that Jarrod did not manage to save any sperm.'I'm afraid his future wife might mind,' she said.

Jarrod added: 'At that point, it seemed that we were all trying to save my life first.'When someone brought it up, I had already had several sessions of chemotherapy.'So even though I visited the sperm bank three or four times, I could not produce any sperm for freezing.'

But he is not too upset.'I'll adopt! I want to adopt a baby from Ethiopia like Angelina Jolie,' said the cheerful boy, who is aiming to take his O levels next year in Malaysia.He is expected to go back to school in a few months time.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After a few years,

Jarrod is in HMC,currently finishing his last sem in foundation.

His acting damn lan c because his getting a new car and because his going to VW showroom which was my dream. Ehems!

His hair is curly now but fake curl one. His hair was once straight but due to chemo, his hair became curly,but ugly. =p (mine still nicer than urs)

He is a victim of bully by me(how lucky of him), but a very good friend of mine also.

To the ex gf of his, "you just lost something precious,you dumb bitch!"

And Jarrod owe me RM3.00 for secret recipi and starbucks(hopefully) if i get a higher mark than him in business and statistic

Mid Terms Done!

2008-06-22T08:25:00.000-07:00

Cousin Brother wedding dinner

Finished my mid terms this week and leadership camp is next week. I don't feel like going to some stupid camp just because hmc says so. Besides,i paid for it okay so of course i got a choice whether to go or not. Stupip ass hmc staff!! Then i heard from some of my friends, that one woman in particular likes to change students timetable without telling them. We pay for your salary okay. Can't blame herlah,she also getting old,maybe pms-ing. Why so many pms one?

Some bad news,my friend got into an accident. But she wasn't the one driving,so anyways, a myvi hit a mercedes. The owner of the mercedes came out and took a pen and grab my friend's friend in the neck and stab him in the head. So now my friend's friend have 10 holes in his head. The funny thing is that, this incident can be avoided if passerby helped out. Unfortunately, no one came down from their car to help out. What the hell is wrong with society these days? Are we becoming more and more selfish about our own life and not other people life? IF someone stopped their car and say something, i'm sure that bastard driving the mercedes(he don't even deserve driving one actually)will not be that brave to brutally hurt someone in public. But nope, society are just too cruel these days.

Fortunately, people are now speaking up, proving in the recent election of course. Even lawyers walk for justice now. The world is changing, but is it changing for better or worse?

His A Guy With Small Nuts

2008-06-06T09:11:00.000-07:00

Me and my friends will be washing a lot of cars tomorrow,hopefully. It's for fund raising for an event which i think will not work,but i hope it will. Let's hope the event will work our perfectly fine.
Happy news, i went shopping today after so many months. =))) It have been so long since i went shopping. Finally i get to buy some books from borders, bra and comic. I need a pair of skirt and slippers then i'm done. And the bad thing is i'm broke now. And more bad-ness, i need money to buy the stuff tomorrow for the car wash. And i'm left with RM35. damn!!
But i so long didn't go shopping because usually all my money is used on food and food only. How to save money?
These days the standard of living is getting high plus the price of oil. Food also must eat less, drive also must drive less. OMG! I'm gonna cycle to college now.
Coz hor, stupid government increase petrol price from RM1.92 to RM2.60. CB people. Want so much from us for what? Not like they use it for good cause. Coz hor,all money don't know go where. Maybe into someone's pocket. =/
And somemore,i'm driving the volvo car. And its old. And its 2.5cc. And now petrol naik harga, i feel so pain when i go and pam petrol. ish...SO i told mummy and daddy to change car. But i don't want myvi. I want a better car. Oklah, a lil bit selfish, but people need some satisfaction right? Maybe not,but for me its a yes. And i've been a very good girl okay.

Why good girl?
I don't on the air cond during weekdays to save electricity.
My maximum speed on the road is 60 to save petrol.
I don't shop for months, but money still down the drain purely because of food

3 reasons enough to prove i'm a good girl. right?
As compare to last time, i think i've been a better spender ever since i started driving. I don't know why,but i somehow realize how much money i'm using for stupid stuff. So better save. =)
Then hor, mummy give me atm card. And that time,i no more money i was so tempted to take money out,and i did! Took out Rm50 and i feel damn baddddd. Better give her the card tomorrow. If not the money inside confirm getting lesser. =(

Next topic, I Hate MURALI!!
He is so so annoying. He only knows how to talk shit and not do any shit. His like a stupid lecturer with a big tummy. I so want to complain man,But nevermindlah since i gonna finish foundation already. He is still so damn annoying.

5 reasons why he is so bloody annoying to his students
He don't get enough sex at home(I'm sure its his penis fault)
He knows his damn ugly and fat, so he decided to screw his students
He got some women hormones, thats why he always pms
He don't earn enough money, so his insecure
He likes to screw his students to achieve orgasm

Quite sensible hor the reasons. When i finish with car wash, i will so screw him up. That stupid,ugly,fat,cibai guy. His no man! His a small lil guy with a very small penis. hmph! that fucker!!!

Better hope he don't read my blog, but even if he do also nevermindlah. He just suck in teaching and advising.Asshole!!! And hor he wants to have twins. Think too biglah him. One kid also cannot have! He should not teach students about human communication, instead he should be taught how to have sex in the right way. =)

Enough bitching, i'm proud to say, I'm no longer without money. Mummy just give me RM100. Hehe,now i'm RM140 richer. Happy happy happy =)

How to tell daddy to change car for me but get a nicer car like the beetle or new accord?

Lang Tengah Picture 1

2008-05-28T08:49:00.000-07:00

Picture Perfect =)

Trippy

2008-05-25T06:57:00.000-07:00

Got back from lang tengah a few hours ago.
The first day was a rush to me. End class at 3.30 and then drive home to pack my luggage. Them for once, Ling came early. So then i had to rush even more. Daddy fetch me and ling to sentral after i finish packing my clothes. The funny thing starts here.

I ask my dad for flight money
Then he say how much
I say give me Rm300 enough already
Then he look at me and say" wah spend a lot ah"
Then i ter blurp out and say nevermindlah, i sayang you more. hehe.
Then my dad just smile only and i got RM400.

Cool hor..

Why Girls Become Bitches

2008-05-13T06:25:00.000-07:00

1) Few days before going for the trip,he said SL is going also
2) Last week, he send a message to SL saying i miss your smile,your laughter and i'll come to college to poke you tommorrow
3) Last week after telling him that i read the message, he said SL was depressed and the message main purpose was to make her happy

NOW, based on all the points above, how can i not be bitch to him? If one of my friend is sad or depressed and maybe even more, he plan to commit suicide, then i think a message won't be enough to cheer him up. So why not go and sleep with him? Sounds cool huh.

Learn today in psychology class today about unconscious (something i forgot). It says that we human have a little of aggresiveness inside of us,but we tend to compress it because the public opinion thinks it's not a good thing to show. So you can't blame me for being aggresive. Yeah?

So, Back to it, since he gave me an explanation which i think is plain bullshit, why not do the same thing back to him? Yeah? So, i'm gonna grab one of my guy friend which is feeling sad and all, then push him on the bed and have sex with him. Then i'll tell my boyfriend," owh i had sex with him, coz his case was more serious. He wanted to dielah darling. So more depressing = better treatment. Correct? I agree with you too =)

Yeah, i tend to revenge back whenever i felt betrayed. Well,this is human nature right. When someone steals your stuff, you steal their stuff back. When your boyfriend go around sleeping with girls, then the girlfriend should sleep double the times with guys. Its all about fair equality darlings. Honestly, i think we girls are underestimated. This is because we girls can be as lovely as possible, as caring like hell, as smart as the guys(ehem!) and act like an innocent girl,then bham,you'll see the dirtiest of us all. But the nicest part is, we can love you so so much, and turn around and be the biggest bitch you ever know.

But guys love bitches right? I wonder why, Guess their just stuck at the anal stage where they still need their mummy to pamper them and cuddle them to sleep, therefore causing a problem in their growing mind. I studied in psy class. Back to being a bitch which guys like.

Why guy like bitches?
1) Maybe because bitches look more hot
2) They look more tempthing for guys
3)Bitches tend to walk and swing their ass, and maybe known for screwing around with guys
4)They like them coz guys are simply to stupid to even think clearly(i think this is the best answer among all others above) Yeah?

Won't it be nice if the prime minister use all the tax money they collect and build a big stadium for girls. This stadium will be a place where girls can talk anything they want, and cat fight also maybe. And every once in a week,girls will bring in a son of a bitch into the stadium and kick him,molest him,shove his ass with a banana and etc. Won't that be lovely ladies? And we won't be in trouble for committing grevious bodily harm, or wounding since in the stadium we girls have immunity. Immunity is powers given to us only when we are in the stage to do whatever we want without being charge under any criminal offences. This i learn from legal studies class. ( Can't blame me for executing it here,since i study every night now) =p

I talk so much crap,and i havn even get to the point. My point is
1)I feel emo coz i don't want him to go for the trip coz that bitch is going
2)Nobody teman me this week coz his gone
3)I need to shop for a dress for my cousin wedding
4)Why parents don't get the meaning of "i don't have enough clothes" "And obviously,my lil sister have more clothes than me,and some need to be folded" See how big the difference is?
5)I want to believe him,but i can't
6) You have any suggestion of what i can do this week? If yes,call me
7) I so feel like going up to the girl and act like the worst bitch she ever know,and scare her away
8)I'm not like this actually,i'm very cool and not emo. But thanks to him,i suddenly gets emo ish and all. And i don't like it, So someone help me ya.
9)I want to stop thinking of him because its a waste of time since he never bother calling me or messaging me,that dumb ass
10)Can someone just give me a knife? So i can kill the both of them. ARGH.. See how serious condition i'm in?

I so feel like dumping him and save myself from all this mess. Give me some advise before i go around shooting everyone.

Go Buy Another Lottery

2008-05-11T06:59:00.001-07:00

For the don't know who many night i have been studying business and psychology textbooks. The pressure is on.
I've been wondering whether the event me and other members are organizing will work out or not. Honestly, i think its a bit cacated and maybe we can change it into a charity. That way we can use the profit earn and use it for our college or for HMC.
But i am in the committee so i shall do my part and hope it works out fine.

I got a new phone. *ehem* N95 *ehem ehem* =p

Run,Go Buy Lottery Ticket

2008-05-08T08:24:00.000-07:00

People,you all should go buy lottery.
You know why?
Because i have been studying every night now and i don't feel bored or sleepy doing it. And i intend to keep this going on. Damn, i think its my last sem pressure thingy.
Something cool happen today man. Because i can't attend my business replacement class, my lecturer told me to write a letter. So i ask my dad to write one. And he did, in formal. And he even print it out. So so cool.=)

Hormones Inbalance

2008-05-06T07:24:00.000-07:00

C L U E L E S S

Why does things become so unpredictable?
Why is people unpredictable?
You just won't know what they are thinking,
Even the closest to you.
You want to feel a sense of belonging
But him/her isn't letting you in
Is it because of security or protection?
Or is it because of reasons he/she won't tell?

I'm clueless because i'm with this guy for 2 years and right now i don't know what the fuck his thinking
I once get what he wants or what he thinks
But no longer anymore
He suddenly becomes so unpredictable
In the past, he would find time to accompany me
Now, i sort of need to ask him everytime to accompany me.
ZAP!
He changes.
I want to be in this relationship because i think his a guy i can spend my time with,
That i can talk too
And i just love him.
But if i no longer know what he thinks,then how can i be with him?
Man, relationship is tough
So the thing that i'm holding on in this relationship is the love i hate for him.
But i don't thinking the feeling of love is enough to keep this going on.

Can he just love me more?

Okay,enough emoing. I hate to emo and i hate emo people.

During secondary school, we girls have a rule in love.
"don't love him more than he love you"

Its a rule i like to stick to because then i can protect myself from any harm. But some might disagree. Its just protection like condom.

Jarrod, Qareem agrees with me that mr Dhanesh is hawty!!

Mr Dhanesh is a legal advisor teaching law in my college. And his 30+ with a son and a wife( god damn). He have a beard which just show how manly he is. He wears formal all the time which i like to see in a guy. He just so hawt. Can someone find out whether his loyal to his wife or not. *slurp* If his not, i need this schedule. Then i can stalk him. Owh god, this is getting out of control. But his so hotttt. And he don't need viagra(stupid Qareem,don't insult okay). He can stand on his own.
His so fine,delicious. Fush, getting honry. Can i be his mistress?
Qareem cannot stand me anymore talking about my fantasy on Mr D. =p

Drooling Over Martin Nevera

2008-05-01T07:34:00.000-07:00

Jarrod burned cd for me. Got Leona Lewis and Martin Nevera.
So so yummy. Yummy yummy yummy. =))

It's my last sem in foundation. Sign up for legal studies, psychology, business and stats. I pass all my exam last sem including maths. Finally man. =)

Shopping spree tomorrow with the girls. And for once, i'll be trying out waxing. Imagine the pain. Ouch!!

Q's

2008-04-30T10:01:00.000-07:00

He wrote : i miss your smile, and your laughter. I'll come to college and poke you tomorrow.

How should i respond to this?

He says : he wrote this because that girl was in depression and she don't feel okay. It's a way to cheer her back.

All About Jarrod

2008-04-28T06:34:00.000-07:00

I am down with sorethroat and a huge headache. And the bad thing is i can't go to sleep because i have to fetch my dad from KL sentral. And then hor, he drove so fast which did not help when i'm having a bad headache. He swift from left to right, accelerating non-stop and you can ehar the engine sound. Maybe he misses his car a lot since i'm driving his car now. Yeah man!

Jarrod compiled songs for me. All the romantic,lovely dovey songs. Ahhhh...
Jarrod got fake curly hair because he went through chemotherapy
Jarrod got nice straight white teeth
Jarrod like romantic lovey dovey songs because his romantic and HE IS NOT LAME
Jarrod is 6 feet tall and always say i'm short,stupid ass!
Jarrod skin is very fair and i am jealous obviously
Jarrod birthday is coming up and i wanna buy him present, but because Gap got sales this fri,i might spend everything. So this is a sort of birthday present for him if i dont have enough money to buy him one.
Jarrod is nice, so he WILL understand horrr.

*smile*

How To Save Money?

2008-04-21T07:53:00.000-07:00

How is it possible to save money when i'm spending money mostly on food and only food?
I need to eat right and i'm too thin to go on a diet. So i have to eat. But i need to save money.
Tell me how.

Takeaway Starbucks

2008-04-15T07:54:00.000-07:00

Takeaway starbucks yummy yum yum
It is so addictive

So, i volunteered to be a committee for RUSH organized by HMC students and lecturers. Me and my partner will be organizing the fund raiser and planning the trip and etc. However, he decided to plan the tirp and send it to everyone without telling me. On one case, i don't need to do anything,but we'r a partner for a reason. So i guess we should discuss together and work it out.
I took this job because john was in the career fair committee. At that time, he spend so little time with me and i got so frustrated that i promise myself,when an event come up take it and be busy. Just for the sake of getting even. Yada yada.. so so childish.
What to do..
People say that being in a relationship is not about getting even, its about give and take and compromising. It is easier said then done. It is so hard to compromise because one might be giving so much and taking none at all or one might be taking always and not giving in. It is so so hard to compromise.
But the beauty of compromising is the relationship last longer and the bond gets tighter. I so want to compromise sometimes, but i just get so stubborn. Inherited from my father,thank you. =p
Stupid Jarrod just told me his flying away to Brisbane. Dumb dumb, aussy so far. You pass your geography anot?hmph! Fly home so you can treat me starbucks.=)
My last sem is starting soon and 3 months will fly by very fast and i would need to think of what to study. Lucky me sis will be coming back at that time. yesh! two brains better.

May It Good Or Bad

2008-04-14T06:08:00.000-07:00

So they say, when a girl knows how to boil soup, it will melt a guy's heart and he will fall head over heals.
So they say, when a girl cook, her guy won't runaway
So they say..

I wonder if its true.

But if it's true, why do married men have affairs?

People get married for a reason right,to be with someone they love for the rest of their life.
So why divorce happened? Why affairs begin? Why does marriage falls apart?
Is it because of lust that no men can resist? Or is it because of third party that doesn't understand the meaning of married men?

Sometimes things just happen for a reason may it good or bad.

WHAT

2008-04-12T08:28:00.000-07:00

What should i do?

What do i do?

What can i do?

What options do i have?

Pray That I Pass My Maths

2008-04-06T03:58:00.000-07:00

PRAY EVERYONE THAT I WILL PASS MY MATHS FOR ONCE! I NEED TO PASS MY MATHS AND IF NOT,I'M DOOMED!
SERIOUSLY,IF I DON'T PASS I WILL HAVE TO SIT FOR MY FOURTH SEM JUST TO PASS MY MATHS OR STATS(IF I FAIL STATS)!
WHO THE HECK CREATED MATHS? I SO FEEL LIKE GOING BACK IN TIME AND KILL THAT STUPID GENIUS. HIS KILLING ME SOFTLY. =/
Next story..

I was blackmailed by my VERY OWN AUNTIE!!!!

Yeah,that bitch.

Story begins here, one beautiful night,this young adult decided to ask her boyfriend to come stay over when her parents is away from home. So the boyfriend said yes(obviously!). After a few months, the evil black ugly stupid idiot old witch decided to tell the so innocent girl's daddy. But before that she ask everyone in the girl's dad office. So everyone knows about this thingy which is nothing actually. Then the girl found out about what the evil witch plan to do, and she so wanted to take a knife and slice her skin,break her bones and boil it so her dog can eat.
Young adult mummy found out,and became stressed. Yound adult felt bad.Young adult thought of a master plan. But didn't used it. Instead she decided to just tell her dad about it. And so she did which work out perfectly fine. So now, if that bitch pisses her off again,she's gonna kick her bloody ass out of the house. Don't mess mess wei with the Choo family.

Burn All The 3/4 Jeans!!! BURN!!!!!

2008-03-08T08:40:00.000-08:00

I mother fucking hate guys wearing 3/4 pants!!! And i hate it even more when my boyfriend decide to wear it for dinner at leisure mall in cheras. Why wear that stupid pants out for dinner with friends? I find it so inappropriate and ugly and stupid and freakingly ah beng. Its like petaling street people selling dvd. You wanna wear can, with exception that it's a billabong pants or quicksilver. Other than that, i got nothing to say. But seriously, it is very disturbing when he asked whether he can wear that or not. Then he end up coming to my house with a grumpy mood and fugly tone. How nice to start the evening after a quiz in the morning. I feel so lucky(being sarcastic).Think man,THINK!!! I just finished a quiz,finished being caught in a jam and finished driving. So it is very helpful when you treat me better and kind-er when i see you.

HELL, just don't wear 3/4 pants anymore. I'm againts it. like ANTI-Bamboo Union.Ehem!

Be a college student. Dress like them. Look good. And i'm proud of you.

He So Fine!

2008-03-05T06:50:00.000-08:00

HE WORE BLACK TODAY
HE WORE A FORMAL BLACK SHIRT
HE MAKE ME SWEAT
HE SO FINE
AHHH...=)
I'm Obsess. But i like being obsess about him. About the way he talk, the way he move,and his bloddy ass! *yummy* slurp..

Crappy Drappy

2008-03-01T09:32:00.000-08:00

Bloody hell!
I got this stupid brain that when i'm given an assignment i must finish it quick. if not i would not be able to sleep because then i'll be thinking of my work and what points to write.
It hurts me so badly,but its a good point because then i wont be in a rush to finish up my work.
And i never rush in things. =)

If i ver lie to you, come tell me straight
If i ever backstab you,backstab me back
And if i betray you, think twice.
Because i'm sure i don't do that to friends.
Even if i do, it won't be a simple trap.
It will be more cruel, more hurtful, more painful
Yet again, i'm talking crap
Because people that know me knows i treat them with respect and love
Nothing less
Nothing evil or cruel
And i am talking crap now because i never tried doing it back to my friends
So this post
Is basically CRAP!!

KL library is BADDDD

2008-02-23T23:30:00.000-08:00

Been busy with assignments and paper works which is due TOMORROW. Not relaly tomorrow but i need to hand in the draft hand written. And i'm stuck doing my assignment now, citing, referencing and checking websites.

For so many years i realize the only library i've been to is the school library which was a must during classes. I never been to kl library or any oher library before. So yesterday i was very determine to go to a library to lend some books for my research.

First library was the KL LIBRARY. To apply for a member card it takes 3 weeks for them to approve. So i left. Before that,i went to subang just to interview people working in PAWS.Unfortunetly i couldn't find the place.

So next day,saturday. Took my maths exam again and drove to pj library. The good news is i'm allowed to apply for membership card and lend books on the ery same day. Unfortunetly, i'm not allowed to enter because i'm wearing a mini skirt. FUCK! now,i'm doomed!
Then i checked the regulations, it says
-man with long hair
-singlets
slippers
-tights
-sleeveless shirt
-and mini skirt
are not allowed in the library

Then i gotta come back the next day. This time i wore long pants and shirt with sleeve. I'm so determin to enter and borrow a book from there. Once i enter, went up to level 1. I typed animal rights in the comp and only two list came out. SUCH A HUGE LIBRARY AND THEY ONLY HAVE TWO BOOKS FO9R ANIMAL RIGHTS!!!!!!!!. Ass lorh. Anyway most of the books there are in malay.

What i didn't know is, the books are in one of my friends hand. So they better return it,if not i won't be able to do my assignmets..

John is in langkawi with his friends having fun i'm sure. Eating brownies is no longer fun without him. But it doesn't really change though even if his here in kl because his always busy with his meetings and group work. So, i don't make it a effort anymore in finding for him to go for lunch or dinner. I would know the answer will always be no. So why bother asking.

Dramatic

2008-02-19T04:23:00.001-08:00

So many drama going on right now.When is it gonna stop?

Some Things Just Don't Last

2008-02-17T20:11:00.000-08:00

Some things in life just won't last no matter how hard you tried to mend it.Maybe its fated to be this way or maybe there is mistakes in life which some of us can never mend. We have got to live with it for the rest of our lives. To forgive someone for a mistake might be possible but for all the things he/she did to a certain individual, it is something which is hard to forget. The torn is already there. Even though its pulled out, the scar remains. So maybe, there is room for improvement. Take the chance and things might work out because there is room to tolerate, to forgive and to forget. =)

The Past Haunts Us

2008-02-06T08:24:00.000-08:00

I don't like entering the white room again. Because everytime i enter, i might or might not get blind. When my eye hurt,i'll be scared of it. But that's what i though of when i was a kid.
The past do come back and haunt you. It will come back,it's just the matter of when.
And i'm waiting for it.When it comes back,i'm ready i guess.

Are You Ready For This War?

2008-02-02T08:14:00.000-08:00

The greatest reward
is to see the light in your eyes
the touch of your skin
and the love i can give.

You will never be ready for this war my darling
Your not standing up to them today
And i'm sure in future you will not too.

I'm ready for this
I'm ready to face all the consequences
I might be young, but i hell know what i'm doing
And now i'm telling you
I'm here, i'm ready, i'm prepared
Are you, my darling?

Are you willing to back me up?
Will you fight with them for me?
Will you go to war and sacrifice everything
Just for me?

If all is answered yes, then i'm ready to open my arms wide.
If your not, don't return.
You need both hands to make a clapping sound, that's what they say.
You told me so.
Am i a disgrace to you?
Am i not enough for you?
Am i not your girl?

I'm sure you love me
I know you do
But loving me isn't enough
Show me that you love me
Show me that i'm more important to you
Than your family.

If you think it's not a right time to meet them
By all means, fine.
If you think we'r too young, then i say, stop this right now
Don't give me false hope that someday i might be a part of your family
If you want me to wait
I will! But how could i be sure that i will get something back in return?
How sure am i that you will be my backbone someday?
What if that day does not come?

Why care about them when it's just you and me?
Why are we related to them, when we'r the one in a relationship?
Or
Am i in a relationship with your family also?

I don't think you have my back
I don't think this will work if you don't stand up for me

Destiny child sang, stand up for love.

Recalling

2008-01-30T06:42:00.000-08:00

Mid term is coming up right after cny. There are tonnes of work to do which i'm trying to catch up on. Tomorrow would be my presentation on cts. But i'm not really that freak up unless some people like jarrod decides to come in my class.=p
Valentines day is coming, mummy birthday also. cny also. Lots of things to do and prepare.
Chatted with syateer and david that day. It feels so good talking to them and remembering all the fun we had during A-Levels. We'r meeting one day, and i'm sure it will be a blast. =)

Black Secrets

2008-01-14T07:14:00.000-08:00

Unexpected things always happen in life.

Sometimes a person may die so sudden that you question yourself during his/her ceremony whether had you treated her/him well enough? Or did you do your responsibility well enough and there won't be a slight regret in it?

Sometimes we take things for granted. Its only when we loses it, we start to appreciate it and ask ourself questions that is no longer useful anymore. There isn't a point in knowing the answer to the question because it doesn't really matter after the thing we took for granted is no longer there.

There are things in life that i did which i am not proud off. I lied, I stole things, I never respect my parents and I never study well.
When i lie, my brain would say it's just a lie so small. As you lie more, you start to not notice the how lies affect you. Maybe lying is better because in the real world and society it is just too cruel.

When i steal, i have many reasons as to why i should steal. I steal because i want things which my parents won't give me. I steal because i think mummy pamper big sis more. so i have the right to steal. What i never thought of, they gave me shelter, they gave me love that no one will ever pour on me and they gave me a family which never fights during dinner or any other times. From then on, I stopped stealing. Mainly because i understand things now.

I never respect them because i think that they care more of my other sisters and not me. I'm never allowed to go out with my friends unless it is a school trip, i'm never allowed to buy things that i want. As i grew older, i start to understand what kind of attitude i have got. If my parents allowed me to go out every night, i would be taking drugs right now, having sex with many different guys and maybe get aids. I need the curfew to control myself from being influenced by the outside world. And when i'm allowed to go out after 12am, i appreciate it even more. I still buy useless things now, but i do think twice whenever i want to buy things. So i guess that is an improvement huh.

People who knows me, would say that i don't study well. I don't. I have my A-Levels results to prove it. =p I wasted 17k and time in playing games, going mamak and etc. But i know that when i want to score flying colours i can do it as proven in my study skills exam.

See, some things in life i am never proud off But i'm most certain that i am proud of being nice to old people, to have a heart to give more if i could, and to treat my friends as though their my sisters.

I'm proud of being a true friend to them. I'm proud of being a good girlfriend to John. I'm definitely proud of having this wondeful family; a mother that cooks very well, a father that pamper us so much, a sister that always study smartly,and two sisters which i love and appreciate even more. I'm proud of you all, are you all proud of me?

If your not, maybe i have flaws. I admit i do because no one is perfect. If your proud of me, then i'm here to say thank you an we'r here to keep this relationship or friendship strong.

If i'm non-existence to you, then might as well send the message here and let me know. No matter how long we known each other, or how much care i give to this particular relationship or friendship, if i'm no-existence to you then i'm sorry to say that i have to rest now. Tolerating is very hard for me right now. I have had enough of it and i need to breath sometimes. Ther eis nothing stopping you from leavig because i don't think your worth it anymore. As much as i like this relationship or friendship to say, it will never work out because you have already gave up on me.

This is the deepest of a black book secret

Maybe Someday

2008-01-11T01:45:00.000-08:00

You said you needed your space too
You said that you can't go out with friends, yum cha, ta kei and play sports
You said that it is unfair to you
You said that your bored of it and everything

So, I'll give you your freedom
Everything that you wanna do will be a yes from now on
Go and play for as many hours as you like
Stick your ass to the chair and just play
I'll let you do anything you want
Since you said that i can do anything i want, but you can't
I'll give you your freedom
I will never say no to what you request

Have you every thought that all i ever wanted was to have you
By my side always
Every single hour, every single minute
I guess you never know how much you really meant to me
And how much i really love you
I love you more than i love myself

I'm sorry because i was too selfish
I'm sorry because i put myself first rather than putting you above it
And now, I'll shut up
You told me you got meeting and your not able to accompany me for lunch
I said, its okay
I succeeded in smiling pretending that it was okay
You got tricked thinking i was okay
You accompanied me to my car
Instead i say nevermind, you can go for your meeting
So you said okay and bye dear with a peck in my cheek
I walked a little more and turn around,hoping that you will see me walk in my car
Suprisingly your not there
You walked away so fast
Today, i drove back alone without you in the car

I needed you
I wanted you to be with me
It's a Friday, our Friday baby!
Have you forgotten?

I'm not used to not having you holding my hand when i walk around
I'm not used to not hearing your voice
I don't want to get used to it
But i will try
And maybe one day i won't need to hear your voice that frequently
I won't need to have my hand hold on
And i certainly won't need your companionship anymore

And when that time comes, Don't ask me why i don't need you any longer
Because you told me you needed your freedom
You asked for it, you wanted it, you got it
Maybe someday, I'll let go everything

Come What May

A Lil Bit About Love

2008-01-08T05:17:00.000-08:00

" Perhaps all the questions we ask of love, to measure, test, probe and save it, have the additional effect of cutting it short. Perhaps the reason we are unable to love is that we yearn to be loved, that is, we demand something (love) from our partner instead of delivering ourselves up to him demand free and asking for nothing in return but his company."

MAN:Dime porque lloras-----------------------------Tell me why are you crying?

LADY:de felicidad--------------------------------------From happiness

MAN:y porque te ahogas----------------------------And why are you so choked up?

LADY:por la soledad----------------------------------Because of loneliness

MAN:di porque me tomas---------------------------Tell me why are you holding
fuerte asi, mis manos-------------------------my hands so tighty
tus pensamientos---------------------------And your thoughts seem to carry you away
te van llevando

LADY:Yo te quiero tanto-----------------------------I love you so much!

MAN:y porque sera---------------------------------And why is that?

LADY:loco testarudo---------------------------------Don't be so crazy and stubborn
no lo dudes mas------------------------------Stop doubting me!
aunque en el futuro---------------------------Even if the future holds
haya un muro enorme------------------------a vast emptiness for me
yo no tengo miedo----------------------------I'm not afraid
quiero enamorarme quiero enamorarTE------I just want to love you

MAN:No me ames-----------------------------------Don't love me
porque pienses--------------------------------because you think
que parezco diferente-----------------------I seem different

LADY:tu no piensas que es lo justo----------------You don't think it's right
ver pasar el tiempo juntos------------------for us to spend this time together?

MAN:No me ames--------------------------Don't love me
que comprendo----------------------because I know
la mentira que seria-----------------what a lie it would be!

LADY:Si tu amor no merezco-----------------If you don't think I deserve your love
no me ames----------------------------then don't love me
mas quedate otro dia------------------Just stay another day here

MAN:No me ames----------------------------------Don't love me
porque estoy perdido-----------------------because I'm lost
porque cambie el mundo-------------------because I change the world
porque es el destino------------------------because it's destiny
porque no se puede------------------------because this is impossible
somos un espejo---------------------------We are like
y tuasi serias------------------------------a mirror image of each other
o que yo de mi reflejo-------------------And you would become what I am

LADY:No me ames---------------------------------Don't love me
para estar muriendo------------------------to be dying
dentro de una guerra-----------------------in a war of regret
llena de arrepentimientos
No me ames---------------------------Don't love me
para estar en tierra-------------------to remain tied
quiero alzar el vuelo------------------to the ground
con tu gran amor-----------------I want to soar with your love
por el azul del cielo--------------through the blue sky

MAN:No se que decirte-----------------I don't know what to say
esa es la verdad------------------That's the truth
si la gente quiere-----------------When people want to
sabe lastimar----------------------they can really hurt you

LADY:Tu y yo partiremos---------When you and I part
ellos no se mueven---------they will remain unmoved
pero en este cielo-----------But now, in this big sky
sola no me dejes------------don't leave me all alone

MAN:No me dejes, no me dejes------------Don't leave me...don't leave me
no me eschuches---------------------Don't listen to me
si te digo "no me ames"---------------when I say "don't love me"

LADY:no me dejes, no desarmes------------Don't leave me
mi corazon con ese "no me ames"-------Stop breaking my heart with that "Don't love me"

MAN:No me ames, te lo ruego------------Don't love me, I'm begging you
mi amargura dejame----------------Leave me with my bitterness

LADY:sabes bien, que no puedo-----------You know very well I can't do that
que es inutil-------------------------That it's useless
que siempre te amare--------------That I'll always love you

MAN:No me ames---------------------------Don't love me
pues te hare sufrir--------------------I'll only make you suffer
con este corazon que-----------------with this heart
se lleno de mil inviernos--------------that is full of a thousand winters

LADY:no me ames------------------------Don't love me
para asi olvidarte------------------to forget
de tus dias grises-----------------your sad grey day
squiero que me ames--------------I want you to love me
solo por amarme-----------------because you love me

MAN:No me ames---------------Don't love me
tu y yo volaremos-----------You and I
uno con el otro----------------will soar with each other
y seguiremos siempre juntos------and continue together forever

LADY:este amor es como el sol que sale---------This love is like the sun
tras de la tormenta---------------------------that comes out after a terrible storm

BOTHcomo dos cometas------------------Like two comet
sen la misma estela------------------in the same galaxy

MAN:No me amesNo me amesNo me ames

LADY:No, no me amesNo me amesNo me amesNo me ames

*taken from Andrea Fonseka Blog*

12 Angels

2008-01-08T02:21:00.000-08:00

Big sis send me a birthday card all the way from Bath, Uk. In front of the card were 12 angels smiling so prettily. Then i open the card and she says, Don't be naughty because i will know. And there are 12 angels looking on you since i'm not here. It is a really nice beautiful card. Thank you.
Just when i thought i'm free from her sight, she send me this. =/. Big sister will always look out for you. eshhhh
I'm going to genting this wed night. When i was telling my friends happily, they sudenly say that they are short of car because some guy got money and he decide to modify his jazz until it was to low. Now my happiness is crash. Whylah you modify? If you have so much money go and invest rather than wasting your time modifying it.

To Err Is Human

2008-01-05T06:12:00.000-08:00

Everyone makes mistake in their life and Sometimes more than once. I made so many mistake in my life that i couldn't even count it with my own fingers. I need my toes and other people toes to help. =p

I've made some and regretted some but not all of it. In christanity( if i spelled it correctly) premarital sex is a sin, being gay is a sin, being a lesbian is also a sin, abortion is difinitely one, and obviously adultery is HUGE SIN. But some comment saying he is a man, i repeat, he is a man. And to reply that, so what if he is a man with a penis to fuck? So what his a minister of health with money fully loaded? That doesn't give him the right to commit adultery and betray his wife love and his children's trust. I agree that to err is human till a certain limit. Adultery is out of the limitation and he deserve to be punish. But i guess his not charge of adultery, instead people are griefing over a loss in the government.

People say how good he is, blah blah blah, how much he did for the government and etc. I don't know much about his didication towards the government, but i'm very sure he committed adultery which is not suppose to happen especially to our very own health minister. EX minister now.. We see them as a role model(some) and we are urge to follow in their own footsteps one day.I say that it's total bullshit. I'm glad as hell that his our ex minister now.

Sex Caught On Tape

2008-01-02T06:38:00.000-08:00

Today big news was about the johor minster that was caught on tape having sex with a woman which is OF COURSE NOT HIS WIFE. Fucking bastard dick should be cut off and feed to a dog. I understand that sometimes it's the political tricks to bring someone down. Nevertheless, he have a wife at home and kids. CAn't he go back home and have lovey dovey sex with his wife rather than having sex with another woman WHICH IS NOT HIS LEGAL WIFE?? You deserve to be punish like that because of your cruelty and adultery acts. Not only i hope you fail in political areas but i hope you die so fast, even your mother can't recognize you. That was translated from cantonese to english. Pardon me, but seriously he deserve to be punish. Maybe he was to ugly face or to dog face, that is why they video tape him. What was the other girl thinking also? Your having sex with an old mannnnnn. His dick would be so so droopy and ugly and his balls would be hanging so down till his knees. EWWWWWWW!. This is hilarious knowing a girl would do such a thing. I mean, will you even have fun having sex with him? I'm guessing your to blinded by his money. I'm so glad that the law issued, that now the legal wife can sue the third party for ruining their marriage and cause mental breakdown and etc etc. INstead, the wife says she will stand by him. I'm sorry for her because she got no other choice also because of her kids.YOU OLD BASTARD, YOU SHOULD BE BEGGING DOWN ON YOUR KNEES SINCE SHE FORGIVE YOU, YOU MOTHER FUCKING BASTARD WITH SMALL DROOPY DICK!!!

Will i be sued for defamation? CHIBAI MAN.

It's A New Year

2007-12-31T22:55:00.000-08:00

Christmas come and go, and now 2007 came and went. IT;s january now where i'll be in my second sem, retaking my maths paper. I would say that i'm quite happy with my results. I got my first HD. pass 2 papers and failed one. I had been failing a lot of times in my life, and i guess my new resolution this year would be not to fail anymore. Failing is so so tiring. =]

Celebrated new year with my family. After dinner, me and him went our seperate ways. He join his friends and i join my friends. Before going out, i was down with flu and sorethroat. So i practically spend my whole day sleeping and sleeping until 4pm. Drag myself up and had porridge.

Since it's new year, i want to wish some things
1) not failing any subjects anymore
2) In sept i would be done with foundation and i hope ti find a course that i can really work on
3)we both still have each other.

=), happy new year!!!

I Got A HD, F-I-N-A-L-L-Y

2007-12-27T06:37:00.000-08:00

Christmas turn out to be quit different as compared to last year. Last year, i would be at home, thinking why go out and get stuck in the jam? This year, me and my friends celebrated it in a whole different level. We went clubbing at Bamboo located at TTDI. It really is a new experience to me. The people there and the way they act around. It is as though girls ass and breasts are meant to be touch or grab. For the opposite sex it could only mean pleasure and highness, but what if your the girl with the ass and breasts?

Some people are just sick. They go around fucking infants or children just to entertain their sexual pleasure. If you have money, go pay and get yourself a prostitute and fuck her all you want. If you don't have the money, then jag yourseld off. If you don't have the money,shouldn't you bte thinking of how to earn some rather than thinking of sex and fucking?

People these days are unexpected. They can just do things that you can't figure out. They deserve to be castrated, then cut their balls of one by one and boil it infront of them.Our morality has been going down. Not only our sense of humor but also the politics in our country. I might even say that, the video clip thing, no one will be found guilty until god knows when. Our country sucks so bad, that even my sis don't wanna come home.

I'm just to frustrated knowing that i fail my maths AGAIN. In my entire life i have been failing maths. seesh, when i thought i will pass, i end up failing it. I will be rechecking it tomorrow and see how it goes. If i really fail it, then i'll let my parents know about it.
"daddy, i got a HD as i thought, and i fail maths unexpectedly." Ahh, his gonna kill me i guess.

A friend of mine is leaving down north. His continuing his studies in law in UITM. I wish him luck and all the best. I might or might not take law as my degree, however the result would be i still love law. And if i progress to another course, then maybe one day i would be ready for law. Till then, lets hope that i pass my foundation and my MATHS.

20/12/1988

2007-12-23T05:59:00.000-08:00

He got me roses, like finally. And a musical box. And an ipod shuffle. It was awesome. Mummy scolded me saying "see,he save money and go teach swimming just to buy you this" She was trying to make me feel guilty. I felt it a little, but it really make me happy, so, it's fine i guess. He suprises me sometimes just so sudden and now i fee bad coz all i got for him is a wallet for his birthday. I shall work harder next time and get him a better pressie. At the mean time, we will both enjoy each other company. =]

Merry Christmas to everyone..Ho Ho Ho

Nineteen

2007-12-19T09:47:00.000-08:00

Its great to see everyone back home,screaming here and there. When they left i was happy then after a while i got extremely bored to death. Now they are back i'm freakingly glad and happy. So i'm not complaining anymore. I am happy i can be with them, i am glad they are living with me and i'm so so lucky to have this family and be part of it too. =]

And it's my birthday today!

So i told daddy
"daddy,its my birthday, wish me quick"
he say"okay,happy birthday"
End of story!

Then i tell LL,
"oik,wish me.She say in a sad way, happy birthday jie"
Selambaa betul!!!

Later it's mummy turn
I say "mummy,my birthday,wish me"
She say"not your birthday yet, your born on dec 20 at 3 pm in the afternoon.Wish what birthday?"
I got stunned by that answer. So fine,its mummy attitude. The diva!
Doesn't matter, because my mum do look hot!

Jun seng was the first to message me, thenwei yao, kah mun and ling and others.
So i thought, "okay,my boyfriend will be the last"

SUDDENLY, he called and say "dear,would you open the door please?"
*I'm smiling right now!*
So, i went down and i see his car at my front gate smiling happily.
And lastly, he said "happy birthday dear!!!!!!!!!"
That was it. My 19th birthday,2007
And i'm the youngest! =]

Pamper me more, love me more and treat me better! =]

Where Do You Cross The Line?

2007-12-16T08:39:00.000-08:00

Have been studying real hard for my finals and i think i did pretty well. It's my first time aiming for a HD in a certain subject. So i work extra harder and memorize the whole freaking notes hoping what i aim will come true. I never aim in my life becuse i don't want to be dissapointed. It hurts when i fail to achieve. It hurts even more to know that i can be that stupid to aim so high. And because i never aim in life ever before, it makes my life easier. I don't need to work extra hard in exams, and i don't really need to care.

I also never care about anything in life. I never really care bout me and him fighting, or my parents. I just follow what they say and whatever with it. I'm like yeah, whatever then that is it. I don't go and ask questions or disagree with them. Maybe i'm just too lazy to talk, so i rather just go along with whay they say. I think not caring is good,because then i don't need to feel sad, or angry or get piss with people. But, sometimes i think not caring is being too cruel. Its like i'm being to hard on. And if i were to brak up with him, i will cry, then i would be strong again to not show him how weak i am. i'll laugh and joke around, but it's just the outside i'm showing. Faking sometimes helps me in showing that i'm tough, i dont need anybody when i'm down and i can stand back on my own feet. Then, where do i cross the line of pretending and protecting myself?

I can say that i don't need love or friends. I just need to have myself and family. Yet, when my friends hurt me, i still feel a pinch in my heart. Should i kneel to my true feelings? Or should i be strong because i'm a girl?

I don't need your symphatize. You can keep it. Instead i will feel pity for you, because u can never protect yourself from getting hurt. You will keep on getting hurt and cry for all the pain u have.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not pretending. i'm being myself. But sometimes i don't like to show how weak i am. You can see me laughing and smiling, and you might think i'm fine. In actual fact, i'm crying slowly and painfully.

Shitty Presentation

2007-11-28T06:35:00.000-08:00

So finally, today was my english presentation. I thought i will shake, and shiver and forget every thing i memorize, but instead i remember it all. Some say i did my presentation alright and calmly, but a friend say i was quite playful throughout the presentation. Overall, i did alright, from my point of view.
But the most annoying,irritating among all is this particular girl! She keep on commenting about other people presentation and telling this guy(which have saome problem with his nerves) to shut up because the guy was shouting(due to his nerve twitch). How cruel is that to tell someone wqhich might in fact don't want that to happen as well. Sometimes he can't control it and he just shout,so? What harm he ever did to you and his grandmother just pass away. Urgh,finelah..I'm piss with her but i won't go up to her and tell her.
With all the anger, i went to john and told him about this. Instead,Instead of agreeing with me, he comes and tell me "MAYBE SHE GOT PROBLEMS,MAYBE SHE FOUGHT WITH HER GUY OR SOMETHING". Instead of agreeing with me, he was on her side helping me. And whenever i comment about anything, he will say no....excuses. then no again...excuses. I expect him to agree with me for once, and say yeah,she ah..stupid woman one. Call her go fuck offlah.
I'm full of anger now and i don't know what else to do, than to blog about it.

The happier fact: this blog author which i read for quite some time finally gave birth to a healthy baby girl today. Congratulations to her and her husband. I'm just one out of a million that resad her blog, but it's nice sharing the happiness.

Just GIve Me Something

2007-11-22T06:16:00.000-08:00

Won't you be happy when he/she send you a nice gift eventhough it's not your birthday or anniversary? It's just one normal day in a year. It hurts to know that when your friends received gifts unexpectedly and on the other hand, you have not received any special gift unexpectedly before. People compare always and you are one of it too when it comes to relationship. Why did he give her that? Why havn't i got anything from him?

I said, i don't really need gifts and all. Restate again, I said, i DON'T REALLY need gifts and all. I did not say NO DON'T GIVE ME ANY. I wonder how hard it is to buy something or you know,just a simple simple rose? Its pathetic!!!

Been given roses before?
Yes for me, but it is not from him,it's from a friend. This is serious outrageous...

For once, could you give me something unexpectedly? I'm sounding so desperate.Well yes i am. I"m in a relationship for almost 2 years now, why wouldn't I? Any girl would be pulling off their hair now and going through a real bad PMS.

A New Experience

2007-11-19T07:11:00.000-08:00

I finally, F-I-N-A-L-L-Y get to go clubbing and stay out late at night. All my 19 years of life, finally. Went to this club called Bamboo at TTDI. A lil small but the experience it what counts the most. Learned to dance a lil step by step. Meeting them back and enjoying the night was one incredible memories. That particular night somehow gave me a hope in them. Maybe i don't need to just let it all go, maybe i can work this out and enjoy our friendship for as long as it is. =). There is always hope in life right? Guys asking for number reminds me of singlehood. I miss the singlehood life but i will miss relationship life even more as compared to single life. Guess i'm stuck to him for quite some time, and i'm not complaining.

I Crap, I Know

2007-11-13T06:39:00.000-08:00

Wouldn't it be nice if i can take over my dad's business and be a bos before 30?
Wouldn't it be nice if i can successfully pass my law degree and call myself a lawyer finally?
And when i have the money i will then be able to buy myself all the bags i like and adore, the car i dream of and the my home sweet homey?
....... and its back to reality.
i fantasize things in life,and i do admit. Who doesn't actually? First you dream of it, then you take a step forward to make your dreams come true.Right? But i fantasize too much until all i can ever do is just close my eyes and dream. i'll go to sleep smiling,and wake up smiling for a few minutes. Then i'll start to ask myself "what exactly did i dream of?"
Dreams come and go,poof,just like that.But if i work for it,then it would be solid and hard. I dream to study overseas for a year and work there and earn money. With the money i can do things that i always wanted. All i'm doing is talking, writing and not do anything about it.And reality bites!

S-W-E-E-T

2007-09-11T08:47:00.000-07:00

So how is it like right now?Am i in still in your dictionary?* years would be down the drain but i guess none of you would have cared right.I never exist in your eyes.So yeah,all the "i'll be there for you when you need someone to talk too" it's a bullshit man. This happen last time and this isn't the second time.Am i a easy target to be fooled,to be bullied,to be slammed around?To people that did those,of course u all like it.Your having fun don't ya?You can laugh you can joke.That is the reason why revenge is S-W-E-E-T!

Friends

2007-09-04T08:09:00.000-07:00

So what happens when you realize that some friends of yours went out and meet when they know your not in town?
What will you do?
How would you feel?
Will you talk face to face and scold them?
Practically,you can't scold them because you know whent he open their mouth it would full of bull
So,how would you take it?
Pretend that you never see that pic,open one eye close one eye OR
Confront them?
What can you do when your friends just treat you as though you DON'T EVEN EXIST.
You can't talk to them and all,since they never change.
They never change!
When your giving so much out,care of none in return
But dislike when all you get in return is friends that don't fucking care about your existence.
These are just shits,friendships that can never be mend no matter how much you want to safe it
What happens to friends forever?What happens to all the promises?
Simple,they promise today,the next day forget all about it
Friends forever?What about friends with benefits?
Don't fucking treat friends like shit just because you think that they are not important to you.
Because one fine day when your in trouble,the first thing you do is call that so call friend you treated like shit for help.
And that friend will always help you,but that friend will also remember how you treated her/him
Don't give bullshits and all.You don't want that person to come and meet with you all,just say so.Don't lie and say busy and then go out with other people in the very same gang.
You wanna treat a friend that always been there for you,fine with it.
Your friend is just hoping that one day you can open ur your eyes and see things clearly.To see who is your true friend,who was there for you,and who was willing to give everything with tolerance but expect nothing in return.

I Got What I Wanted

2007-09-03T08:07:00.000-07:00

Never sleep all night and instead me,sis and nelson went to a karaoke place.Sang all night long from 12 till 5am.Then its time for me to go back home and pack my last minute things.Check that everything is done,then the next destination is the airport.I guess i slept through out the journey not knowing that because i was just too damn tired.Reach the airport,check in luggage and paid rm150 extra because of excess weight.Finish up all including redemming the taxes.It is now time to sa goodbye to my sis which i wil not see until next year maybe,and to nelson which i might not see for a few years down the road,and to ah yi(auntie,nelson mummy) which i might never see again.Sayang goodbye was easy,because those was just words.But no words can express out how much i will miss my sis.All the laughter she brought to this family,all the things she done for me to safe my ass,and to all the silly things we did together.How things change when we grew up.Less fights,more communication! In comparison to previous years,we fight like mad.Pulling each other hairs and hitting,and end up getting canned.Oh,how it was last time.Those were the moments,and now,these moments i have with her shall never be forgotten because she is and will always be my dearest sis.The best of all,she is cool man. *winks* Better tase than me,better styles and better in every single thing and i love her to bits. *smiles* =]
No matter how much i will miss all of them,i gotta admit that i have been waiting to go back home to my loved ones in kl.The funniest thing is,i almost miss my flight because i read the gate wrongly from gate B to gate D.so imagine how far i walk and end up walking backwards.Thank godness i got there on time.Boarded the plane,slept through out also and reach kl around 1pm.Called him is the first thing i did.Then went and carry my super duper fucking heavy luggage.Bought ERL ticktes from klia to sentral.In between,played gameboy.A game that i played since young.This electronic accompany me when i was bored,sad and when i was waiting.
Reach sentral and i gave him a call.Saw him walking towards me now,heart beating a little,smiling so happily,and a hug so warm.A sign of affection i miss throughout the taiwan trip.Kisses were not to be miss. I love you too! Went to college to settle my things and it's all done.So tomorrow would be my first day in foundation.I feel weird holding pen.It's bee so long not touching my stationary.=] Came home,lie down on the bed.*hugs and kisses*
Taiwan trip was fine,but if you were there,things might be even perfect.Nonetheless,no regrets going to taiwan.=] Nights

Waiting Anxiously

2007-08-30T10:12:00.000-07:00

It wasn't as fun as i thought it would be.Mainly due to some reasons.=] First day was alla bout boarding the flight,sitting for 4 hours and catching up movies i never watch yet.Reach taiwan at about 8pm.On phone right away but realize it says emergency call only.Nightmare for me because i need my phone to message people important to me like for example,the boyfriend.*smiles* but yeah,phone sucks,and connection was bad.So phones off until i get back to kl.Staying at yaiwan for 10 days which ui gotta admit that the trip is way to long. Had some fun shopping and only getting a pair of skirt and a cute towel for rm9 ONLY.Some things are cheap but some aren't.
Went to the beach today.Tried surfing a little,but the board i was using doesn't allowed me to sit on it.Waves was alright though,a few quite huge a few small.The huge one really came and whack me.Board flip,and i was in the sea already drinking a mouthful of salt water,ears blocked, and salt water entered my ears too.That was not so nice.And i remembered this joke about the sea and salt.It was about the wales.They say that wales ejaculates yones of sperm but only one enters the female wales.And the others?In the sea,swimming around i guess.So that's why the sea is so so salty.Naughty naughty wales,but hmm sex is normal right? =]

Can you see from the outside whether this couple had sex?

I'm dead curious about it because of this particular couple.=p Just wanna know,so if you know tell me about it. Went to this place called * i forgotten* A lot of shops sells animals.There is this shop,the woman was trying to make the female maltese stand so that the male maltese can hump her and breed.She was trying but the maltese kept on sitting back down.*good for her* I kept on looking at her.She was showing zero expression to what she was doing as though that it s correct.For me,that action is considered cruel and evil.She is just too cold blooded.Then Nelson told me that they see them as a product.Yeah dogs that you buy are for sale,but you don't need to force it to breed right? Dogs have lives to just like us.Treat them well woman!!! =/
When i reach taiwan,i ahd started to count the days left.I am still counting by the way.3 days more and i'm abck in kl,hugging john tightly.I miss you so so much.you know that?
Happy Merdeka Everyone..

Big 'D' Word

2007-08-23T00:29:00.000-07:00

I thought that divorce cases could only happen in the uk or any international country.But i never thought that i would hear it here,or even among my family and relatives.Whenever anyone hear about the D word,they tend to get shock and ask why why and why.I'm not asking this questions maily because i know just a lil why this is happening.This is not what is going on in my family,but it is happening to someone close to me and close to my family.

Because of some issue the wife decided to leave the family and take her youngest child with her back home.She would be leaving behind her young teenagers with the husband. What happen? Some BITCH came to the husband and ask him out.And so they went.That BITCH acted as though that she don't have money to pay for her shopping clothes,so she ask the husband to pay for him.The husband was smart enough to realize that she just wants his money,so he left.The wife found out about the resit. Now she could not forgive him for what he have done to her.

This couple had been married for 20 and more years and to us and the neighbour they seem the perfect couple.Always laughing and smiling. This news shock my family and my mum and even me.They had been married for so long and imagine the love,memories and family built. Thanks to some BITCH,this family mightbe ruin and torn apart.For me,i think that maybe the wife should let the past go and forget about it because they have childrens in their life now.It is no longer about the both of them,but the entire family.But on the other hand,myself would not forgive him.The relationship had been so long and all the trust she had for him is gone and it now no any longer exist.If i'm her i would not forgive him for his actions and stupidness.

What would you do if your her and if ur him??

This week had been pretty hectic for me.First i got my results and it was bad as i had imagine.Second,squeeze brain to figure what else to study.Third,register and do everything done by friday,TOMORROW! Then saturday,i'm off to taiwan.I can't wait for the taiwan trip and i hope this course would be fine for me.=]

Anger Within

2007-08-15T09:15:00.000-07:00

When you are too mad at someone,too frust with them,too pissed off with them and all of the feelings just get mixed up combining it into a state where your dissapointed. OkLAH that's a bit overreacting. But seriously when you fight to much with someone you love, you tend to get bored with all the quarrels and arguments. And when a fight starts, you just go lalalalala.* pretending you singing* =p

What's the worst? To fight with your partner because you still care for him/her? or to just let him/her yell and still pretend nothing is happening because your too bored with the arguments?

To anonymous,about the comment you left,it is truelah and sometimes not all questions have an answer to it...A lil bit of peeping won't be bad.*hah* =)

Invisibility

2007-08-12T08:46:00.000-07:00

Ever dream of being invisible? And why?

What says you? =)

Let's Not Pretend

2007-08-07T08:18:00.000-07:00

I have no doubt that i could love u forever
The only trouble is you don't really have the time
You got one night only one night only
That's all you have to spare
One night only,let's not pretend to care
One night only,one night only
Come on baby come on
One night only we only have till dawn
And in the morning this feeling would be gone
Have no chance
Something so right
Has got no chance to live
So lets forget about chances
It's one night only with me
One night only
One night only
You would be the only one
One night only
There is nothing to rush
One night only
One night only
It's hard to say goodbye
But i'm not sure
We didn't make forever
Now i'm standing here,looking for something to say
We've been together,so close to each other
It's hard to say goodbye,hard to open up
And not sure what your going for
We did not know we would end like this
You know i always love you
You know i'll always be there for you
It's hard
But don't be sad
Because the time we have together
Shall not be forgotten
Memories built
Would be remembered
Remember it all and thinking about it
You make me smile,
Baby,don't be sad but be happy
For the memories we had will always be kept in my heart
Just so you know
I'm never taking you away from my heart
The place you have in me would be kept for you
You and only you
So,please believe me
When i say that i could have love you
Be happy,and not sad
Because i'm happy with the path we've been through
No one will take this away from me
What about you?
Baby,tell me
For you it's over
For someone that like you without any reason?
For her
It would always be the same
Feelings unchanged
It stays like this
Forever

In Her Shoes

2007-08-07T08:15:00.000-07:00

I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart.
I am nothing without you,
Anywhere i go,you will go with me.
I fear no fate because your my faith.
I have no world,when your not with me.
Here is the deepest secret no one knows,
The root of a root,
The bud of a bud,
The sky above the sky,
Of the tree palm life.
Its the wonder of life that keeps the stars apart

"Have You Ever"

2007-08-07T08:10:00.000-07:00

"Have You Ever?"

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so badyou can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever , Have you ever

Have you ever been in love
In love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all your heart
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care

What do i gotta do to get you in myarms baby
What do i gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how i need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
Cuz baby I can't sleep

How Things Were Back Then

2007-08-06T09:21:00.000-07:00

You have been there for me for as long as i could remember-Remember we would smile at each other whenever we enter the classroom?-The first time you came to minda ceria,you walk through the door and you stand infront of everyone.-You came in with another guy.-Nonetheless,my eyes were on you.-I dont know why,but maybe it's because you were from my then boyfriend school and you were his neighbour too-I saw you writing at the white board-And so,we fight for the board space-You smiled,i smiled-Things was so perfect back then.-And eventhough we never talk during the night ,we know that we miss each other-We flirt and talk and everytime we talk,eventually we will smile-When sir ask us to sit in groups,you know that the sit infront of me is available to you,but you never come.So,my then boyfriend took that place that was suppose to be urs and not his-How funny things is,because that sit was suppose to be my then boyfriend,but i always wanted you to take that place-Maybe we had a chemical reaction-The nicest thing of all was that you called me.And we talk or even try to talk eventhough my boyfriend insisted that i should stop talking to you-Yet,we talk.Remember at that time my boyfriend was so damn piss with you.-Still,we talk.-You and i know that there is something going on between us,but i had him and you just got heartbroken-January 2006,my stupid asshole boyfriend ask me a very very dumb question.To choose him or my freedom.It was so damn obvious that i would choose freedom.-After breaking up with him,we went out the next day-We had fun right,eating shakeys,taking each other drinks.-Baby,You know i love you only

We had loads of fun,but it seems to me all this days has been a long long time.-I never felt the same as how i feel last time-How eager i was to meet you,to see you as faded-And last time when you try to court me-You think of fun stuff to do with me,to make me laugh-It has been such a long long time baby

I dreamt about you the other day-The words you say came flowing back into my mind-I guess you have been waiting for me to say this,"baby,it's true that all this while you had done so many things for me and i so stupidly think that i'm the one that had been tolerating you"-I'm sorry because i forgot how things were back then with you-I'm sorry because i never know how you felt-Baby,Give me time and maybe things would change as how it is before-And to you,please remember how you treat me last time.-So tender so loving-Now,i only feel that way after we had great fun together-And when you came so close to me hugging me so tightly saying you love me over and over again,i feel close to your heart-I don't want that feel to come only when we'r having fun.I want it when we'r together doing nothing-Lastly,you know i love you!
--Kisses to you--

Mistress

2007-08-06T09:13:00.000-07:00

When you walk down the aisle with your soon to be husband/wife,all you could ever think of was to be with him/her for the rest of your life.Vows are said and told by the preist.He ask do you take him/her as your lovely beloved husband/wife to have and to hold,till death do you apart?When you say I DO,you know you mean it deep down your heart.As time fly,you and your soul mate live together,stay together and have kids too.She got pregnant with your baby,gave birth to a new living soul.And eventhough she know that her body will gt out of shape,her hole would be loose,yet she agreed in having your baby.Then,years pass.She no longer have the looks like last time,she no longer owns a godness body.She gave it all up for you.And now,you repay her by having a mistress outside and as cruel as you could ever be,your mistress gave birth to your child,a baby boy.Your wife had been there for you all this while,and now your rich,you decided to have another woman outside.How cruel could you be?When you return,gates would be open widely for you.Its for you to decide to enter inside or to live outside.It is your choice,but you should know that she would be waiting for you with your baby girls.Do remember that they might leave this world,because no girl can face the fact that her very own husband has a mistress outside with a child.She might leave this world with your baby daughters.What are you gonna do when they leave you forever?